These women married themselves out of an immense self love. Although these stories appeared in the news awhile ago, they still bring up a good point. Do we have enough self love to marry ourselves?
Glee’s Susan Sylvester
The cheerleeding coach in Fox’s musical comedy-drama television series married herself in a blue full-length tracksuit gown. She also decided to officiate at her own wedding. After trying her best at an online dating service, Susan decided that she was her own best match.
Susan is not alone. Chen Wei-yih, Jennifer Hoes, and Aya de Leon also married themselves and even went on their own honeymoon.
In 2010 Taiwanese Chen Wei-yih, whose name in English is Only, decided she would marry herself. She was 30 years old and her personal life and career were going well, but she hadn’t found a life partner. So she decided to take matters into her own hands and tie the knot with herself. She wore three wedding gowns as Taiwanese tradition dictates, had a reception for 30 guests, and booked herself a honeymoon to Australia. According to Reuters, she stated “It’s not that I’m anti-marriage. I just hope that I can express a different idea within the bounds of a tradition.”
In 2003 Jennifer Hoes did the same in the Netherlands. She was also 30 years old when she decided to marry herself. In interview with Karl Zipser, she gave her reasons:
“I married myself at the moment I was prepared to embrace my own life and agree on the responsibilities that come with that… My wedding ring says “I will return to my heart every time.” I read this every day. I think the values to an individual life are pretty much the same as in a marriage, it is about how you’ll behave, about taking responsibility, about being a loving person. The promises you make in the ceremony concern good intentions. The intention to do your best, be involved, be sincere, etc. and the ceremony is something you do for the moment later when you’re making a mistake in the relationship, to remind you of your promises and to make up for your mistake.”
She believes that when a person is loyal to themselves they have more to offer others. And what better way to celebrate that self-loyalty than with a ceremony surrounded by your loved ones.
Aya de Leon
In 1997 African American Aya deLeon decided that self-marriage was the way to go for her. She was in her late twenties and had practiced a year of celibacy after a bad breakup. The year ended and a couple of years went by before she decided that no one met her expectations. On her website she states: “I needed commitment in my life. So I decided, hey, I can’t wait for someone to notice how fabulous I am. I’m going to marry myself. I bought a silver band and wore it on my ring finger to symbolize my growing self-love.”
These women decided to marry in an act of self-realization. They had reached a point of maturity and self love which they decided to share with the world, even if they would be flying in the face of convention. It’s an opportunity to show to the world that they are fulfilled just as they are. It also serves as an example to other women who feel societal pressure to marry, that there is indeed another option. Above all, it was a statement to the world that alone as they were, they were whole.
For a comedic look at what life would be like if same-self marriages caught on, watch this Youtube video by Gary Graham.