Author: Editor

A Tribute to Love’s Imperfections

Aug. 18 Videos no comments


Mrs. Lee’s Story

“Mrs. Lee, I believe you have some words to say about the dearly departed.”, said the funeral director as he invited Mrs. Lee up to the podium to speak. The petite, elegant widow walked slowly to the front of the small chapel and calmly began her eulogy.

“I am not going to sing praises for my late husband. Not today. Neither am I going to talk about how good he was.” Mrs. Lee’s eyes flashed.

“Enough people have done that here.” She took a deep breath, allowing the air to fill her lungs before she continued. “Instead, I want to talk about some things that will make some of you feel a bit uncomfortable

Several people stopped fanning themselves and sat up a little straighter. “First off, I want to talk about what happened in bed.” She paused dramatically, shifting her weight from side to side. “Have you ever had difficulty starting your car engine in the morning?” She carefully studied the faces about the room. With a loud, grinding sound, she snorted and rumbled, violently shaking her tiny frame.

“Well, that’s exactly what David’s snoring sounded like.” A cough rose up from the center of the audience. “But wait,” she continued. “Snoring wasn’t the only thing.” “There was also this rear-end wind action as well. Some nights it was so forceful, it would wake him up.” A child giggled into her hand while her red-faced mother stifled a grin.

‘What was that?’ he would ask.

‘Oh, it’s the dog,’ I would say. Patting his back and smoothing the covers, I would urge him to go back to sleep.” She touched her hair as if remembering the way her hands felt as they placed themselves on her husband’s gasping body. “Oh, you might find this very funny,” Mrs. Lee offered the whisper of a smile.. “But when his illness was at its worst, these sounds provided comfort and proof that my David was still alive.”

Silence washed over the room. Even the birds outside seemed to be listening. Mrs. Lee looked heavenward as her voice began to crack.

“What I wouldn’t give just to hear those sounds one more time before I sleep.” A single tear wandered down her face, landing noiselessly on her lapel.

“In the end, it’s these small things that you remember the little imperfections that make them perfect for you.”

“So, to my beautiful children,” Mrs. Lee swept one hand toward the front row, “I hope that one day you, too, will find yourselves life partners who are as beautifully imperfect as your father was to me.”

Mrs. Lee’s eloquent tribute to her husband left the entire audience in tears. With just a few heartfelt words she summed up the mystery and magic of a lifelong marriage built on the foundation of love, imperfection, and acceptance that knows no bounds.

25 Tips on How to Stop Being Angry at Your Mother

Jul. 22 Featured Posts 3 comments

There are times when your mother makes you happy.  There are times when you miss her like crazy.  But then there are the times when she literally drives you to tears of anger and resentment.  If you are unhappy about it and wish to do something about it, check out the tips below.  Following even just one of the tips will be sure to help bring resolution to the problems.

1)  Walk away.  When you’re having a conversation with your mother and feel that it’s rapidly heading the wrong direction, excuse yourself and leave the room.  Go for a walk.  Listen to music.  Leave the vicinity.  Get a chance to calm down.  Let her know that it’s because you honor, love and respect her that you need a chance to think about things before it escalates into a full-blown argument.

2)  Remember that she’s from a different generation.   We’ve all heard a variation of “when I was young things didn’t happen this way”.  What to do?  Gently remind her that although you acknowledge that rules and customs where different for her, you are living in a society that is rapidly changing and things are done another way.   This new society has different customs and to be successful in it, you are choosing to follow the way it’s done here and now.

3)  You only have one mother.  When all is said and done, most of us only have one person that we consider our mother.  It may be your biological mother or the person who raised you as though you were their own.   Is what you’re angry about really worth it?  If you were to lose her and no longer had access to her motherly love, would you still feel the same amount of anger?  Wouldn’t you rather part ways loving each other rather than being angry and resentful?

4)  Would you rather be happy or be right?  You just had a really intense argument with your mother.  You know with absolute certainty that you are right and she’s wrong.  If you keep arguing you might stop talking for awhile or you might even lose her.  Is being right absolutely worth it?  What’s worth more to you – proving that you are right or having a happy, loving relationship with your mother?

5)  Apologize for your role in the situation.  It takes two people to argue.  Take a step back and figure out what you could have done to stop the conversation from escalating into an argument.  It may be that you got defensive right away and stopped hearing her.  Or maybe you began the conversation with your mind made up and nothing she could have said would have changed your mind.  Either way, figure out where the breakdown happened and apologize for the role you played.  That doesn’t mean conceding, it means taking accountability for things escalating from a conversation to an argument/fight.

6)  Put yourself in her shoes.  See life from her point of view.  Would you pay attention to the same details if you had her responsibilities?  Let’s say she’s having trouble making ends meet, she may not be so interested in hearing how you lost your luxury rental and had to settle for the economy pack.  Or maybe it’s just the opposite:  she’s always had whatever she wants at the tip of her fingertips and can’t understand why you’re balking at spending your hard-earned money at a fancy dinner.  Either way, try to see the situation from her side before you start pointing fingers.  It just might make the difference.

7)  Write her a letter.  You may be the kind of person who has difficulty saying what’s on their minds.  Or you might have found that you started to say something but she wasn’t receptive. Your solution might just be to grab pen and paper and tell your mother how you feel.  Write out how things are from both points of view and where you see the breakdown occurring.  End the letter by acknowledging your love and appreciation for her.

8)  Write out your feelings.  Sometimes you may be angry at your mother and either you aren’t in a situation where you can express them, or you may not even be sure exactly why you are mad.  Freestyle writing might help you express all the hurt and pain you’re feeling without causing more.  Write out every thought that comes to your mind.  Don’t worry about spelling or punctuation.  Just write it.  Reach into the farthest corners of your mind and write down what you find.  You might be surprised at the real reason why you are angry.  Once you’re done, burn the paper and then make a plan of action.

9)  Don’t shout, yell or scream.  Have you ever noticed that the more people shout the less they are listening?  When two people are really connected they communicate with a single look or touch.  But if you’re busy shouting, your ability to listen is greatly diminished.  If you really want your mother to listen to you, don’t raise your voice or scream obscenities at her.  It will only put her on the defensive and will prevent her from hearing what you’re saying.  Leave the room if you must but don’t raise your volume as a means of being heard.

10)   Is her behavior specific to you? It might seem like she’s always picking on you but is she really? Are you sure she doesn’t do it to others?   Maybe what you’re seeing is your mother dealing with problems and emotions the only way she knows how to and will be the same no matter who she’s dealing with.  If that’s the case, you might decide to spend your energy helping her deal with problems a different way, rather than being angry at the specific behavior or conversation.

11)   Spend some time with her doing mundane tasks.  Help her with her chores or organizing her office.  Find out what she has going on in her life.  She may have pressures that you never knew she had.  Your mother will appreciate having someone to help relieve her stress, you might learn something new, and you might even have time left over to do something fun.

12)   Watch a movie with her that can help express how you feel.   Use the situations in the movie an opening to bring up what’s bothering you.  For example, Freaky Friday is a wonderful movie about a mother and daughter who literally switch places.  If you’re having trouble understanding what’s going on in each other’s lives, this is a great conversation starter.

13)   Practice gratitude.  Every night before you go to sleep, think about one thing that you are truly grateful for about your mother.  It doesn’t matter whether it’s something big or something small.  Maybe it’s the chicken soup she makes for you when you’re sick. Or maybe how she acts as a buffer between you and those who pick on you.  Write one thing down every day before you go to bed and re-read it every morning.  Before long you might find the anger you feel inside dissipating.

14)   Is it the pain talking?  Do either of you have a physical illness or discomfort that exacerbates the situation?   Most people can’t think their best or clearest when they’re in pain.  They might even lash out and say things they wouldn’t have said otherwise.  Perhaps you should hold tough conversations for a time when the pain-killers have kicked in and you or she can think clearly.

15)   Are you communicating enough?  We can only do the best we can with the information we have available to us.  If you don’t tell her what’s really going on in your life, how do you expect her to empathize with you?  If she doesn’t tell you what’s behind her decisions, how are you going to perceive them as being fair?  Talk to each other and be honest about your feelings and emotions surrounding the particular situation you are angry about.

16)   Pay attention to your dreams.  For those of us who can remember our dreams, they can offer amazing insights into a particular situation.  If you are angry at your mother and you have a dream about her, pay special attention to what happens in the dream.  Perhaps your unconscious mind is trying to tell you something.

17)   Stand up for what you truly believe in.  You may be angry at your mother for making you do something that goes against your grain.  Perhaps you wanted to study French cooking since you were little but she insisted on you becoming a doctor.  Or maybe she wanted you to buy that sporty new convertible but you really felt more comfortable with a utilitarian vehicle.  Whatever it is, stand up for your rights as this will diminish the anger and resentment you’ll feel towards your mother.

18)   Don’t give in to the guilt.  There are certain situations where your mother may be guilt-tripping you into doing something she knows you don’t want to do.  No matter how many times you’ve told yourself you won’t give in, you still end up doing want she wants.  The anger you feel inside might be avoided if you hadn’t given in to the guilt in the first place.  Next time, be firm and say “thank you but no thanks”.  Guilt serves no one and leads to the erosion of the relationship.  Save yourself the time and the trouble and learn to say no gently and kindly, but firmly.

19)   Offer an alternative solution.  Is there some other way to get resolve the issues that are feeding your anger?  Perhaps you’re angry because you have to give up your Sunday mornings so that you can take your mother to see her long-lost relatives (which you find boring).  Maybe you can arrange a once-a-month soiree where they come and see her instead.  Or you might be mad that she picks the exact moment when your favorite show comes on TV to bug you about anything and everything.  You might pick a particular hour as “mom hour” when she can talk to you about whatever’s on her mind.

20)   Stop lying to her.  If you want your mother to believe you when you are having a conversation, tell her the truth and be willing to face the consequences of your actions.  Even if she doesn’t agree with what you’ve done, the conversation will move from accusations of deceit to a more productive conversation about solutions and what to do going forward.

21)   Show an interest in her life.  You might be angry at your mother because it feels like she never takes an active interest in what goes on in your life.  If you want your mother to take more of an interest in your life, show her by example and take an interest in hers.  Maybe she’s really into soap operas.  Ask her about what she gets out of watching them.  She might be into charities or book clubs.  Go to an event with her.  Afterwards ask her if she’s willing to come to one of your events.  You might be pleasantly surprised.

22)   Talk to people that knew her when she was younger.  You’d be amazed at all the things you can find out about your mother by talking to her old friends or colleagues.  Maybe she pushes you away from dating a particular type of person because she had a bad experience with someone similar in her past.  She might push you to look your best at all times because people made fun of her looks when she was little and she doesn’t want the same thing happening to you.  Who knows what you’ll find out but chances are high that it’ll lead to a new understanding of her current actions and decisions.

23)   Bring in a mediator.  When the two of you can’t find a solution or middle ground, it might be time to bring in a neutral third party.  Someone who isn’t related to either of you and can act as a buffer as well as help you come to a mutual agreement.

24)   Seek professional help.  Try as we might, there are resentments that are so deep that we cannot deal with them on our own.  Rather than continue carrying that anger and resentment around, talk to a professional counselor or therapists.  They may be able to shed light on the issues or help you see the situations from different perspectives.

25)   Agree to disagree.  Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we just can’t see eye to eye.  When you’ve tried every which way to make matters better and nothing seems to work, you might decide that it’s time to let sleeping dogs lie and agree to disagree.

 

How Abandoning Belief Rocked My World

Aug. 04 Featured Posts 1 comment

What I believe isn’t important.  The fact that I can put order to my thoughts, sort them into opinions and fan them into beliefs is hardly impressive.  In fact, such thinking is unavoidable.  It’s what our highly evolved human brains do.  They compare and contrast and judge in an endless attempt to make sense of the world around us.  Believing is as automatic as walking or talking or sneezing, and about as noteworthy.

There was a time when I considered my beliefs to be something more than just an assemblage of thoughts.  I mistook them for something much more important.  I thought they were me.

At various times in my life I believed I was a Catholic, a Unitarian, an agnostic and a secular humanist.  I was a liberal, a feminist, an environmentalist and a pacifist.  I took on new identities in search of a higher self and, down deep, I think, to distance myself from certain vulgarities that characterize the human condition – qualities like greed and aggression.  By connecting certain thoughts, by cobbling together new identities, I convinced myself and others that those unwholesome human traits couldn’t possibly define me.  They defined thieves and rapists and murderers.  I was above all that, and had a portfolio of beliefs to prove it.

I was not alone in my quest adopt a new identity.  Everyone in the world was doing it right along with me.  Hindus, Muslims and Buddhists.  Socialists, Communists and Greens.  Progressive Unionists, Christian Democrats – some crafting identities the way college freshmen craft double majors.  We were all attempting to rise above our inherited animal nature, but rising above it didn’t make it go away.  We were still greedy and aggressive despite our deeply held beliefs.  We were walking contradictions, projecting our inner conflicts onto the world; in fact, we were the world, and that’s why it was such a bloody mess.

Having wandered from one belief system to another, I thought I had explored life’s biggest questions, but I was only asking questions for which my beliefs had provided me pat answers.  I had yet to ask myself the most radical questions, the ones that would eventually smash my beliefs to bits.  They were questions no one seemed to be asking, questions like:

If a clash of beliefs can be found at the root of all the violence in the world, then shouldn’t we question their validity – not the validity of any particular belief, but belief itself?

Separated from our beliefs, would we lose our moral bearing?  Would we fall prey to our baser instincts and rock the world with depraved acts of violence?  Or is this precisely the behavior we exhibit under the hypnotic spell our beliefs?

Imagine a city whose buildings have been leveled by an earthquake.  That’s the image I had of my mind after my beliefs had been toppled.  I felt like I could see forever in every direction.  The towering thought structures that stood as my beliefs no longer blocked my view of the world.  I felt a disorienting sense of freedom.  Liberated from the beliefs that had conferred my identity, I felt blissfully anonymous.  I was a person without a suffix, without an –ist to affirm my existence.  I had unwittingly joined the only club that matters.  It numbers in the billions, doesn’t charge dues and welcomes career criminals.  It’s called the human race.

It’s been years since I disposed of my beliefs, and I have yet to turn into a sociopathic killer. On the contrary, I’ve developed a deep affection for my planet mates now that I’m not measuring them by the yardstick of my beliefs.  Gone are the walls of thought that prevented me from seeing who they really are.  Gone are the lectures I’d give in an attempt to raise their consciousness.  And gone, mercifully, is my compulsion to cast them as evil so that I can appear virtuous.

However sacred or profound, a belief is nothing more than a thought, and thought is never the thing it describes.  It can only hint at the wonders it attempts to touch.  Sermons about love garble love’s ineffable beauty.  Speeches about unity clank after the first syllable.  Courting belief is a prescription for a virtual, not a virtuous life.

 

John Ptacek’s essays explore the unquestioned assumptions that limit our capacity for happiness. They appear on his website, On Second Thought, www.johnptacek.com. He lives in Wisconsin with his wife, Kitty.

God’s Approval Rating

Jul. 27 News 3 comments

A new survey conducted by Public Policy Polling on July  21, 2011 found that American voters tend to give God a pass on performance.

Though not the most popular figure PPP has polled, if God exists, voters are prepared to give it good marks. Voters approve of God’s performance by 52-9 margin, making God about as popular as [Rupert] Murdock [sic] is unpopular [12-49].

God’s best rating was on creating the universe where he/she got a 71% approval rating.  The rating for the handling of the animal kingdom is also relatively high at 56%, while the approval rating on natural disasters dipped to 50%.

The survey was conducted via phone and had 928 registered voters respond.  PPP also found that those who consider themselves very conservative gave God a 61% approval rating versus 40% for those who considered themselves fairly liberal.  The trend continued when it came to God’s handling of the animal kingdom where ultra-conservatives rated God at 69% versus 41% for those who are somewhat liberal.

To read the full Public Policy Polling survey click here.

Image courtesy of couboo.

Beating Discouragement

Jul. 26 Featured Posts no comments

When you are feeling down and sad, unwilling or unmotivated to continue, discouragement might have taken a grip of you.  You might have just lost a business, or gotten turned down for a job.  Maybe you’re not where you thought you’d be at this age or you’re overwhelmed by the amount of learning you have to do to reach your next goal.  Whatever the reason may be for your discouragement, understanding where it comes from will help you deal with it and have it disappear from your life as fast as it came.

What causes discouragement?

There are many reasons why we feel discouraged.  They include criticism, family troubles, financial problems, poor health, daunting tasks, perfectionism, comparing yourself to others, pessimism, feeling undervalued or under appreciated, or having faced rejection.

As Rick Warren states:  When you are physically or emotionally fatigued things might seem bleaker than they really are.  When you are frustrated and overwhelmed by the amount of tasks you must complete it’s easier to get discouraged.  When something you’ve been planning or working on falls through and you think you’ve failed.  When we’re afraid of what other people will think, or if we’ll be able to handle it.

H0w can we overcome discouragement?

Talk to someone.  Vent your frustration with someone you trust and/or with a professional.  Ask someone to help you look at the situation from a different perspective.  Sometimes just shifting your focus and seeing the situation in a new light might give you the motivation and energy to keep going.

Give back to others.  The gift of giving will help those who receive your gift but it’ll also help you feel good inside.  The gift can be material but it can also mean giving someone your time and energy, or giving them a smile and a hug.

Be realistic. Distinguish between the things you can change and the things you can’t.   For example, if you are feeling discouraged by the lack of progress you are making in learning to play a new instrument, realize that it takes time to be proficient at it.  You might not be an expert in a couple of lessons but keep on practicing and you just might be the next master at your craft.

If your discouragement has come about because someone criticized you, before you let it get to you consider the source.  Artist Nancy Doyle encourages us to ask ourselves several questions:

Does the person have training or experience? Is the person able to be objective? Does the person have a similar sensibility to me? How intelligent is this person? This goes both ways – if the person is intelligent, has training, has no axe to grind – perhaps some of what they are saying is true. We need to accept criticism without necessarily buying into it, or at least suspend our judgment. We need to consider it, over time, to see if there is anything we can gain from it. We can’t take it personally; we can’t feel that it renders us worthless as artists or people. If we look at it without our egos, we may glean great insight and help to make our work better.

Leonie Dawson, author and spiritual visionary, provides four powerful methods to beat discouragement.  The first is to use the 5/5/5 Rule:  ask yourself how much it is going to impact you in 5 days or 5 months or 5 years from now.  The second is to remember your vision.  Return to that place of knowing what is truly important to completing that which you have set out to do.  And the third is to mend your wounds.  Meet yourself where you are at right now.  Not where you were before or where you hope to be, but right now in this very moment.  Go outside and get a breath of fresh air.  Treat yourself to a luxurious bath or a movie you’ve wanted to see.  And lastly, bring in something new into your life.  It could be a new class, a new hobby or a new friend.

In his blogpost Overcoming Discouragement, Scott H. Young encourages us to reward ourselves when we’ve attempted something, even if it failed:

Whenever you take steps outside your past limitations, either in conquering your fears, improving your skills or increasing your own willpower you must recognize and reward that victory even if the rest of the world won’t.  When you reward attempts even when they aren’t successful you are signaling to your brain that taking there is value in attempting something that isn’t attached to a particular outcome.

Whatever the reason for your discouragement, the important thing is to recognize it for what it is and to take action to remedy it.  Not doing so might lead to more serious consequences including depression and possibly even suicide for some.  However, if you nip the problem in the bud you might just walk out of the situation happy and on the road to success.

 

Image courtesy of frisbee37.

Law of Attraction with Michael Losier

Jul. 12 Featured Posts no comments

Listen in as Michael Losier, Law of Attraction Coach, describes the basic principles of Law of Attraction (LOA) to the listeners of Spiritual Perspectives Radio.  Michael answers basic questions such as what is LOA, why should you use it, what happens when your partner practices it right alongside you, how do you use it, and most importantly, why are you not getting the results you would like.

Michael reminds listeners that we are all already experiencing Law of Attraction without even knowing it.  However, we’re using words such as serendipity, coincidence, synchronicity, fate or karma.  In actuality, these are all evidence of LOA.  Whether you like it, believe in it, or understand it, everything that you are attracting is a result of the Law of Attraction.

Bestselling book and movie “The Secret” teaches us about Law of Attraction but fails to mention that if you are sending out negative vibes, you are not likely to get what you desire.  Michael teaches us that we are sending out vibrations at all times but some might cancel out our desires – thus leading to poor or no results.  For example, if you want to attract $1 million with all your heart but also highly doubt that it will happen, then you are right – nothing will happen.  The desire and the doubt cancel each other out.

So how do we know what vibrations we’re sending out?  Are they positive or negative?  Michael’s list of negative vibrations include feelings of anger, disappointment, guilt, shame, blame, or jealousy.  Positive vibrations include love, joy, appreciation, success, gratitude and abundance.  To determine what kind of vibration you are sending out in a particular area of your life, take a closer look.  For example, if you want to know your vibrations towards money, open your wallet.  If you want to know your vibrations toward business success, take a look at your clients’ file folders.

Another aspect of Law of Attraction that differentiates Michael from other Practitioners is his ability to teach people how to reset the vibrations they are sending.  Once you have identified the type of vibration you are sending out, if you determine that it’s a negative one, just hit a “Reset Button” and you’ll start from scratch.  Michael believes that Law of Attraction has no memory, no conscience or brain, therefore it won’t remember what you vibrated in the past, it will only remember what you are vibrating now.

 

To listen to an excerpt of the interview click here: Michael_Losier_Interview.mp3

 

To hear detailed examples about the Michael’s brand of Law of Attraction, listen to the full Spiritual Perspectives Radio interview.

If you’d like to hear more about how Michael uses Law of Attraction in his personal life, you can access free videos on his WakeUpWithMichael.com website.

If you’d like to find out more about Michael, his books, or when he’s going to be in your area, you can go to his official website at MichaelLosier.com or follow him on Facebook.

God or Goddess: Which One Should I Choose?

Jul. 11 Videos no comments

The Pagan Perspective recently answered the following question by one of its Youtube viewers:

What are your thoughts on a male following the goddess in paganism and a female following the god.  Do you feel that the sex of someone should determine if they follow the goddess or the god in their pagan life?  I’m male and beginning to learn about paganism.  I feel that I connect more to the goddess but I have noticed from reading things and watching videos that males tend to lean more toward the god and females to the goddess.

Speaking from a Wiccan experience, Mary, the speaker, answers the question by looking at the people that surround her.  She contends that the followers of the Wiccan tradition are drawn to both the god and the goddess and can relate to aspects of both.  Followers who want to honor both strive to understand what is power and warrior-like in the goddess and what is kind and nurturing in the god.   However, if you study both of them at their depths they will both encompass every experience that will take us to the levels of supreme wisdom and confidence.

Mary asks that you try to relate to both god and goddess in their many different aspects.  If you feel more connected to one or the other then find out why.  See if you can find that which you admire in one, in the other.  It’s important to understand who both are so that you can explore who you might be.  The femaleness and the maleness of the deities doesn’t define who they are in terms of potential.  It also doesn’t limit or define them or us.

If we are not relating to the god and goddess as equals, we may not be in tune with who we are.  Don’t limit what god or goddess can be.  Explore both but if in the point in your study you lean towards one or the other, enjoy what you have to learn and then decide what you want in your life.

 

To view the Youtube video go here.

Grief: The Loss of a Thing, Person or Idea

Jul. 11 Featured Posts 1 comment

Grief is more than just the loss of a loved one.  Grief can also mean the loss of a relationship, employment, your home, a financial loss or even the loss of friend who has moved away or a sibling who won’t talk to you anymore.  We also grieve when we think our life should have gone a certain way and it didn’t.

Listen to Sandra Champlain, creator of SurviveGrief.com as she talks about the many different kinds of grief with Dawn Katzin and Sara Vitale on Spiritual Perspectives Radio.  Sandra will take you through her personal story of loss and guide you through the different stages of grieving.  She’ll walk you through the ways you can tell if you or someone you know is going through the grieving process and then will give you advice and insight on how to make it through.

Sandra’s own story involves not only the loss of her grandmother and shortly afterwards of her father, but also the loss of her siblings, whom she stopped talking to after her father’s death.  Sandra’s story recounts how she went through anticipatory grief: when you start the grief process of shock, denial, anger, bargaining and acceptance, during the days when she saw her father fight the cancer that would eventually take his life.  She also describes the things she learned about herself and the courage she gained as a result of having gone through such a loss.  In an effort to help others who are going through what she went through, Sandra created a free downloadable audio file called How to Survive Grief which you may find on SurviveGrief.com.

Most people can identify grief when someone has suffered an obvious loss of a loved one and give them time to go through the process.  What most people don’t know is that losing a thing, person or an idea you love can also trigger grief.  If we were able to identify it as such, we would be able to offer the support and encouragement that makes the process easier to go through.  Sandra helps you identify the signs of grief which include:  having no energy, feeling exhausted all the time, feeling empty inside, always wanting to be alone, being unable to sleep or eat or sleeping/eating too much, having a lot of arguments and miscommunication, forgetfulness, poor work performance, fear, sadness, anger and guilt.

Sandra will say that the best way through the grieving process is to be present in the moment, identify it as grief, and just live it out.  Just go through the process and allow you and/or your loved ones to go through with it.

Listen to these ideas and much, much more on the Spiritual Perspectives Interview.

 

To listen to the interview click here.

To learn more about Sandra Champlain go here.

Image courtesy of nolandis. 

The Power Of Forgiveness

Jul. 10 Featured Posts no comments

As We Heal Others, We Heal Ourselves

by Walter E. Jacobson, M.D.

Forgiving others is a compassionate thing to do. We know this. Nonetheless, oftentimes, we don’t do it. We want those who hurt us to suffer for what they did.

By withholding forgiveness we think we are punishing them, we think we are keeping them stuck in a prison of guilt and shame. But the fact is we’re just punishing ourselves in the process.

We’re prolonging our own suffering. We’re withholding from ourselves our own peace of mind. We’re keeping ourselves emotionally tormented. We’re keeping the albatross around our own neck. We are fanning the flame of our own discontentment and emotional suffering.

We’re, essentially, keeping ourselves locked in an emotional prison cell that is now of our own making. We are now victimizing ourselves long after having been victimized by our offenders.

Anger Hurts, Forgiveness Heals

When we forgive others we free ourselves of our anger, our judgments, our grievances, our resentments, and our bitterness, all of which interfere with our present moment joy and inner peace.

When we refuse to forgive others, we relegate ourselves to living in the past and never being in the present moment, in the Eternal Now, where all the good things in life happen.

Consequently, it is always in our own best interests to forgive.

Everyone. No exceptions.

Forgiveness decreases our anger, our depression, our stress and our anxiety. We sleep better. We relate to others better. Our general attitude is more positive, optimistic, and joyful.

All of this contributes to our physical as well as emotional well-being, and maximizes our potential to attract people, places and circumstances into our lives which will propel us towards our dreams and our goals.

 

Walter E. Jacobson, M.D. is a board certified psychiatrist, motivational speaker, and author of Forgive to Win! His primary goal is to help people build their self esteem, overcome self sabotage, and get what they want in life.  To find out more about Dr. Jacobson visit his official site.

Image courtesy of Latuff2.

 

10 Steps to Awaken Your Intuition

Jul. 10 Featured Posts no comments

 

Intuition.  We’ve all felt its effects at one point or another.  That nagging feeling that we should be doing something.  Or that the right answer lies in a particular direction.  Or that something is going to happen.  The voice in your head that tells you what to do or warns you of danger.

By definition, intuition is a sense or feeling that cannot readily be explained away by conscious logical or rational thought.  It is an instinctive knowledge that triggers a particular response from you.   People who place great value on common sense and rationality are afraid of it.  Others swear by it.  But where does it come from?  And what if you were able to tune into it more frequently?  What if you were able to harness its power?

Where does intuition come from and why should I awaken and develop my intuition?

Intuition helps you tap into your subconscious mind.  It helps you get to know yourself better and make better decisions as a result.  By developing your intuition you will be better able to find answers to your problems, or better yet, avoid problems altogether.  Less problems leads to less stress and less stress means a healthier you.  Intuition also allows you to have better relationships and better communication because you instinctively know how another might be feeling or what they are or aren’t ready to hear.

If you learn to develop your intuition you will have the added benefit of joining a club that includes many successful businessmen, CEO’s, artists and other highly successful people who constantly state that it was a “gut feeling” or their intuition that led them to make better decisions.  An article on Quadrant1.com states that

“When we have modelled the cognitive strategy of CEO’s we have found that intuition is actually a super-fast review of past experiences and decisions, using the visual mode of thinking. In fact it is often so fast that they are doing it unconsciously. This can, and has, made their CFO’s and CIO’s nervous as they appear to be basing their decisions on no analysis at all – just a gut feeling. What they have missed however are the many events of visualising the past and future in order to formulate their decisions. Because it is so fast other people misinterpret the signals, especially if they have not been trained to model a person’s thinking process.”

What steps can I take to build up my intuitive muscles?

1)  Quiet the chatter in your mind so that you can hear your intuitive voice. You can practice meditation or talk a quiet walk.   Perform a mindless task that will allow your mind to clear itself.  Without a quiet mind,your intuitive voice might be talking but you might not be able to hear it.

2)  Get to know yourself and how you make decisions.  Do you make decisions impulsively, based on knowledge, based on a gut feeling, or a combination?  This will in turn lead you to having intuitive instincts that lead you in increasingly better and better directions.  The Harvard Business Review recently posted an article about this subject and declared that

“Successful and consistent deployment of intuition, however, requires more than just domain knowledge. It also requires deep introspection, “an intense journey into yourself.” If you are going to understand the biases, emotions, and offsets of your decision-making compass which may effectually trump your domain knowledge and result in poor judgments, you must learn to “observe all men, but yourself most.”

3) Let go of expectations.  Just because you need your intuition to kick in immediately doesn’t mean it will.  By expecting a particular outcome by a certain time, instead of listening to your intuition you run the risk of listening to wishful thinking.  Go slow.  Developing the intuitive muscle takes time.

4)  Use your dreams as an intuitive tool.  Before you go to sleep think about a problem you’d like to solve or a situation in which you’d like to gain clarity.  Make a mental note of any dreams you have and either write them down in a journal or tell them to someone.  When you are in a quiet but alert state, review the dreams and see if you get any feelings from them.

4)  Once you’ve found your intuitive voice, trust it.  Notice it.    Make a mental review of the first impressions you’ve had lately.  Now think about those same situations in a rational, logical way.  How often were your first impressions right?  Use intuition to pair it with logic to help you make the right decisions.  As the saying goes, “When intuition and logic agree, you are always right.”

5)  Write down all the instances in which you’ve felt your intuition’s guidance.  Do you see a pattern?  Is your intuition highly developed when it comes to danger but not so much when it comes to work or relationships?  Work on those areas that have room for improvement.  Focus on one area at a time.

6)  Practice hypnosis.  Hypnosis helps you develop a stronger bond between your conscious mind and your subconscious, ultimately leading to a stronger intuitive muscle.  Enter into a state of complete physical relaxation but induce a state of acute mental concentration.  Focus on the thoughts that come up.  Have someone record your session so that you can study it at a later time.   Do you see images, do you have feelings, hear sounds, or just have a general sense of knowingness?  Make a note of how you receive the intuitive messages so that you can notice them better when they appear in your everyday life.

7)  Do blind readings to answer a particular problem or issue you are having.  Concentrate on the problem at hand, write all the potential solutions on an index card or piece of paper, turn these over, and pass your hands over each one.  Start pulling out the ones that you are drawn to the most.  Turn them over and read them.  Were they the ones you were leaning towards in the first place?

8)  Get a coach, instructor or personal trainer who you work with regularly to strenghten your intuitive muscles. For example, Sonia Choquette teaches you how to get a psychic six pack by exercising your psychic muscles through her Psychic Sit Ups Course.  She gives you seven-minute exercises via video that will help you work your intuitive muscles to the point that it becomes second nature for you to use them.  You can watch the videos in the privacy of your home and as often as you like.

9)  Stay informed.  Read articles or books on intuition.  Download podcasts or audiobooks.  Talk to others who already have a developed intuitive muscle.  Find out how others have done it and chances are you will find an exercise that works perfectly for you.  About.com’s Holistic Healing section has a great listing of sites around the internet that will give you more information.

10)  Share your experiences with others that are like-minded.  The more you tell others about your intuition, the more details you’ll remember and the better and faster you will get at it.

 

Image courtesy of Lilichka.