Category: Just for Fun

Create Your Own Religion on HuffPo

Jun. 27 Just for Fun 1 comment

Do you have what it takes to create your own religion?  Now’s your chance.  The popular blog Huffington Post is hosting a competition in their comedy section to see who can create the best religion.  All entries are considered.  The best will be posted directly on the site.

You’ve got the long hair, the nice bushy beard, and lots of beliefs, but you don’t have the 2.2 billion adherents worldwide. Or perhaps you’re chubby and like to sit cross-legged, but no one is making statues of you. Or maybe you’re a mediocre sci-fi writer that wants people speaking your psuedoscience.

Well now you can be the next Jesus, the next Buddha, or even the next L. Ron Hubbard. Sign up now to create-your-own religion. You name it, write down the beliefs, rituals, and holidays. We will then post the best submissions on our site and allow you to compete for followers.

So what are you waiting for?  All it takes is submission of a simple form and you could be the next big influencer on the planet.  Just give your religion a name, name it’s core beliefs, holidays and rituals, and you’re all set.

Are you more of a follower than a leader?  Check out some of the religions that have already been submitted:

Rationalism: Since any advanced piece technology is indistinguishable from magic, only ignorant people can be part of this religion. These ignorant people are to study the Holy Fluctuation, the deviation from the great singularity.

Universal Calculatism: The universe is an enormous calculator, space is the numerator, time is the denominator, we are the answer.

The United Church of Awesome: See others for the Awesome inside them, and help them realize their potential for Awesome, which in turn will cultivate your own.

Allnessanity: The allness is the atom. The all of it is in every part of it. The trinity being in all things. Negative, positive and neutral. Everyone, everything, everywhere are all connected via the atom.

 

To read more about the Create Your Own Religion Competition go to Huffington Post’s Comedy Section.

 

Who’s Better on the Computer: Satan or Jesus?

Jun. 16 Just for Fun 3 comments

Jesus and Satan were having an on‑going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, “THAT’S IT!  I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.”

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused.

They faxed.

They e‑mailed.

They e‑mailed with attachments.

They downloaded.

They did spreadsheets.

They wrote reports.

They created labels and cards.

They created charts and graphs.

They did some genealogy reports.

They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell!

Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed.  Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers.

Satan started searching frantically, screaming: “It’s gone! It’s all GONE! “I lost everything when the power went out!”

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.

Satan observed this and became irate. “Wait!” he screamed. “That’s not fair!  “He cheated!” “How come he has all his work, and I don’t have any?”

God just shrugged and said, “Jesus saves.”

 

To read the original joke on Faithwebsites.com click here.

Image courtesy of ongchewpeng.

Dalai Lama Walks Into a Pizza Shop…

Jun. 15 Just for Fun no comments

I have a joke… a reporter gets to sit one on one with the Dalai Lama and…

Click here to watch video.

Will Hell Freeze Over?

Jun. 15 Just for Fun 1 comment

Who says religion and science aren’t compatible???

The following is an actual question posed on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam. The answer was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

“First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving.  I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.  With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

  1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
  2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, “…that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.”, and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.”

The student received the only “A” given.

The story appeared on the View on Buddhism website among other sites.