Category: Stress

A Positive Attitude During Difficult Times

We are told that if life gives you lemons you should make lemonade.  But let’s face it, sometimes you want to throw that lemon right back with as much force as you can muster.  When you’re facing an empty refrigerator, or an eviction notice, or the loss of a loved one, it is hard to see the positive side of life and remain happy and strong.  In theory we know we should maintain a positive attitude but putting it into practice in real life is hard.  Or is it?  The fictional story below is an inspiring example of how one person managed to make lemonade even when faced with his mortality.  Enjoy!

Jerry is the manager of a restaurant in America. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would always reply, “If I were any better, I would be twins!” Many of the waiters at his restaurant quit their jobs when he changed jobs; they would follow him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was always there, telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, “I don’t get it! No one can be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?”

Jerry replied, “Each morning I wake up and say to myself, I have two choices today. I can choose to be in a good mood or I can choose to be in a bad mood. I always choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I always choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I always choose the positive side of life.”

“But it’s not always that easy,” I protested.

“Yes, it is,” Jerry said, “Life is all about choices When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. It’s your choice how you live your life.”

Several years later, I heard that Jerry accidentally did something you are never supposed to do in the restaurant business: he left the back door of his restaurant open one morning and was robbed by three armed men. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found quickly and rushed to the hospital. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body. I saw Jerry about six months after the accident.

When I asked him how he was, he replied, “If I were any better, I’d be twins. Want to see my scars?”

I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place.
“The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door,” Jerry replied. “Then, after they shot me, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or choose to die. I chose to live.”

“Weren’t you scared?” I asked.

Jerry continued, “The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the Emergency Room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read ‘He’s a dead man.’ I knew I needed to take action.”

“What did you do?” I asked. “Well, there was a big nurse shouting questions at me,” said Jerry. “She asked if I was allergic to anything.” ‘Yes,’ I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, ‘Bullets!’ Over their laughter, I told them, ‘I am choosing to live. Please operate on me as if I am alive, not dead’.

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude.

Whether we want to admit it or not, we always have a choice.  We can choose to remain bitter or to smile and move on.  We can choose to remain chained by fear or break those chains and start enjoying life.  We can choose to live, or we can choose to die.   The choice is always yours to make.  No one else can make it for you.

 

This story is courtesy of the View on Buddhism website.

To purchase a copy of the image on this post go to Adila’s site on Deviantart.

Panic Disorder and Anxiety Will Not Kill You

Contrary to some of the information found on some blogs on the internet, panic disorder and anxiety attacks will not kill you.

I have been running across a lot of articles lately talking about anxiety and panic disorder. Like most information found on the internet, you have to really do your research in order to find credible sources from experts in the field. While I’m not an expert, what made me decide to add to the list of writers about these subjects was some disturbing  blog posts that anxiety or panic disorder are life threatening and can lead to death.

I have been living with panic disorder for approximately 9 years. Like most people, I was diagnosed with the disorder after ending up in the hospital due to what I thought was a heart attack. Over the years, there are times when I need to be on medication and in therapy; however, for the majority of time I am able to handle the panic through multiple techniques. My number one technique has been based on the fact that my therapist asserted that no one has ever died or passed out from panic disorder.  I have repeated these words over and over during every attack and it has worked marvelously well.  No matter how hard the attack is hitting, I at least know that I will be okay once the episode is over.

If the opposite had happened and my therapist had told me that my worst fear during a panic attack could possibly come true and I could die from it, I do not know  how I could have mentally made it through those really, really hard times. My recovery would have suffered a serious setback.

After reading those frightening blogs, I decided to do some research to figure out if they were right or if my therapist had been right.  Here is what I found.

In an article on the Anxiety Network titled What You Fear the Most Cannot Happen, psychologist Thomas A. Richards, Ph.D., explains how panic disorder does not lead to passing out, dying or some of the other thoughts that run through your head when in the moment of an attack.

… Because of these feelings of panic, it’s very common to “invent” or attribute danger to the accompanying bodily symptoms. Remember, though, that NO ONE has ever had these things happen to them as a result of a panic attack:

“I’M GOING CRAZY“: No one with panic attacks and anxiety has ever gone “crazy”. In fact, because you realize that you have panic attacks, this is just another indication that you are not going crazy. People that “go crazy” lose contact with reality. Anxiety people are too much in contact with reality. Thus, people with panic and anxiety problems NEVER “go crazy”. It simply cannot happen.

“I’M GOING TO PASS OUT”: Temporary dizziness leads people with panic to feel that they may pass out. This is not possible because, during panic, your heart beats faster, and your blood pressure rises. As the blood pressure rises, it becomes impossible for you to “pass out”. When people faint or “pass out”, it’s because of a sudden DROP or lowering in blood pressure.

“I’M HAVING A HEART ATTACK”: when the heart begins to beat quickly and people experience “palpitations”, they sometimes feel a heart attack is occurring. In the first place, the heart can beat quickly and continuously for a long period of time without causing any damage. Although heart palpitations seem to occur in the left side of the chest, there are many DIFFERENCES between panic attack and a real heart attack. During a real heart attack, the primary symptom is a crushing sensation inside the chest and a pain that is continuous. During a panic attack, the attention is focused on the quick and rapid beating of the heart itself. (“I can hear my heart beating even in my ears!”) People having panic attacks are NOT experiencing heart problems. A real heart attacks produces crushing internal pain that doubles people up and drops them to the floor. They DO NOT hear their heart beating nor do they care. The intense, crushing pain is the only thing they can pay attention to.

“I WILL STOP BREATHING AND SUFFOCATE”: Sometimes panic sufferers feel that because they can’t catch their breath (and are hyperventilating), they will suffocate. This is impossible because you cannot pass out and suffocate.  It feels like you can because the mixture of oxygen and carbon dioxide in your bloodstream is out of proportion. That is why people feel weak, dizzy, lightheaded, and faint. Suffocation is not a possibility during a panic attack.  In a few moments, as the body gradually calms down, breathing returns to normal, and the other symptoms gradually go away.

“I’M LOSING CONTROL”: Experiencing many anxiety symptoms all at once can cause a person to feel that they are “losing control” of themselves. Sometimes the fear is of acting nervous and foolish in public where others will be able to notice. Sometimes the fear is of being rushed to the hospital in an emergency vehicle. For other people, it is the fear that losing all control proves they are crazy and may have to be institutionalized. Actually, the fact that you think you could “lose control” guarantees that this is not really possible. The only people who really “lose control” are people who are not aware of this and are not ever concerned or bothered by “losing control”.

Read Full Article

 

Just a few more…

Before It Happens Know that a panic attack will not harm you
“In therapy, we teach patients that although panic attacks are uncomfortable, there’s nothing physically dangerous about them,” says Kimberly Wilson, Ph.D., a cognitive-behavioral therapist in the San Francisco Bay area and a psychiatry instructor at Stanford University.

Article from Women’s Health Magazine

 

Coping with Panic/Anxiety Disorder

When you feel the symptoms of panic/anxiety disorder (PAD), tell yourself –continually—that what you are experiencing is anxiety and not a heart attack and that anxiety cannot kill you. Dr Stanley Goldstein –Author and Psychologist

Read Original Document


Some tips that worked for me personally:

1.   Get a physical. A thorough check-up will allow you to have peace of mind and you can then rule out that there is nothing physically wrong with you.

2.   Get a prescription. There are times when your panic might be more than you can handle and medication will be needed. Be okay with that and realize that if you take the correct steps to control your disorder, the need for medication will not be forever.

3.  Get a therapist. Discussing the circumstances that led up to the attack with a professional will enable you to put events into perspective and determine what could have led to the attack.  You will also learn how to talk yourself through the situation so that you can emerge from it quickly.

4.  Meditate. Taking a moment for yourself to be calm and mentally prepared in situations that have the potential to trigger attacks can help you stave off feelings of fear.  It doesn’t have to be for long and you can meditate anywhere.  Check out our article the 1 minute meditation for ideas on how to do this.

5.   Inform those who need to know about your condition. Teach your friends, family members and relevant co-workers what to do in case you are experiencing a panic or anxiety attack . Tell them what to say and what not to say.  Usually, someone just talking to me about really mundane stuff would help me get out of my head long enough for the feeling to subside.

6.   Talk to yourself. My personal mantra was, “I’m OK, no one has passed or died from this.” I also made sure to walk and move slowly so that I would not raise my heart rate more than it already was.

7.   Talk to others who are going through the same thing. Join groups or blogs for people with panic disorder. It really helped me to know that I was not alone. This is happening to lots of people and all of them were very willing to share their experiences and the tools that help them cope when panic hits.

Stress Mastery

Is stress taking control of your life?

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by MindPowerCoach.com

Stress is misunderstood in so many ways. What it is and what causes it ought to be understood to gain clarity, health, general well being and personal freedom.

Stress is a response using our personal interpretation of the environment. Through interpretation using beliefs, the quality of our decisions are being predetermined. Our body then is guided to feel what we believe.

Stress places us in an alert mood which has its advantages. However, it has been long understood that we trigger the stress response inappropriately too often, causing chronic stress that directly reduces the quality of our thinking, feeling and hence our overall lives. From mental fatigue, low energy, irritable mood swings to chronic diseases, these are all caused by chronic stress.

Even our intellectual, emotional and spiritual intelligence is restricted by an emotionally charged belief that there are only two choices to be made in seemingly challenging situations: to fight or flight.

If you would like to gain control over the stress levels in your life, you can try taking a Stress Mastery class, such as the one offered by  Mind Power Coach:

Stress Mastery can teach and train you out of the habitual stress response that ought to be taught to everyone at school. Stress Mastery combines great, yet common sense knowledge with advanced brain training exercises to help you begin reducing your stress immediately. By doing the exercises, you will literally shift your state of mind into calmness and clarity.

For more information on the Stress Master Program go here.

 

Click to learn more about life coaching and George Helou, the Founder of MindPower Coach

One Minute Meditation

Even the busiest person can find one minute to calm their minds, relax and feel a moment of peace.

If you’re in the business world, at home with the family or on a date there is always a minute to sit, relax and just breathe.

For years, I struggled and learned how to live with panic disorder. Having this disorder sometimes made it very difficult to be in meetings or just focus on any one topic of discussion. In order to make it through those rough patches I would find ways to have a moment for myself to relax my mind, rest my anxiety and get focused.

 

This video gives some great suggestions on how and where to grab that one minute meditation and here are some of my favorite meditation hangouts:

  • The ultimate place to grab a minute… is in the bathroom. The best thing about meditation in the bathroom is that no matter where you go or what the situation is, there is always a bathroom.
  • Before a meeting I like to arrive a few minutes early to the location, sit where the meeting is being held and just breathe.
  • In your car- not while driving, but either  before you leave or when you arrive at a location. This is a great way to prepare your mind to leave behind what your day has been like and let you go comfortably and peacefully into where your day is heading.

Just taking that one minute affects the way you feel, affects the way you communicate and it is also a way to show yourself that you care about you.

Click image or click to view video