Tag: love

25 Tips on How to Stop Being Angry at Your Mother

There are times when your mother makes you happy.  There are times when you miss her like crazy.  But then there are the times when she literally drives you to tears of anger and resentment.  If you are unhappy about it and wish to do something about it, check out the tips below.  Following even just one of the tips will be sure to help bring resolution to the problems.

1)  Walk away.  When you’re having a conversation with your mother and feel that it’s rapidly heading the wrong direction, excuse yourself and leave the room.  Go for a walk.  Listen to music.  Leave the vicinity.  Get a chance to calm down.  Let her know that it’s because you honor, love and respect her that you need a chance to think about things before it escalates into a full-blown argument.

2)  Remember that she’s from a different generation.   We’ve all heard a variation of “when I was young things didn’t happen this way”.  What to do?  Gently remind her that although you acknowledge that rules and customs where different for her, you are living in a society that is rapidly changing and things are done another way.   This new society has different customs and to be successful in it, you are choosing to follow the way it’s done here and now.

3)  You only have one mother.  When all is said and done, most of us only have one person that we consider our mother.  It may be your biological mother or the person who raised you as though you were their own.   Is what you’re angry about really worth it?  If you were to lose her and no longer had access to her motherly love, would you still feel the same amount of anger?  Wouldn’t you rather part ways loving each other rather than being angry and resentful?

4)  Would you rather be happy or be right?  You just had a really intense argument with your mother.  You know with absolute certainty that you are right and she’s wrong.  If you keep arguing you might stop talking for awhile or you might even lose her.  Is being right absolutely worth it?  What’s worth more to you – proving that you are right or having a happy, loving relationship with your mother?

5)  Apologize for your role in the situation.  It takes two people to argue.  Take a step back and figure out what you could have done to stop the conversation from escalating into an argument.  It may be that you got defensive right away and stopped hearing her.  Or maybe you began the conversation with your mind made up and nothing she could have said would have changed your mind.  Either way, figure out where the breakdown happened and apologize for the role you played.  That doesn’t mean conceding, it means taking accountability for things escalating from a conversation to an argument/fight.

6)  Put yourself in her shoes.  See life from her point of view.  Would you pay attention to the same details if you had her responsibilities?  Let’s say she’s having trouble making ends meet, she may not be so interested in hearing how you lost your luxury rental and had to settle for the economy pack.  Or maybe it’s just the opposite:  she’s always had whatever she wants at the tip of her fingertips and can’t understand why you’re balking at spending your hard-earned money at a fancy dinner.  Either way, try to see the situation from her side before you start pointing fingers.  It just might make the difference.

7)  Write her a letter.  You may be the kind of person who has difficulty saying what’s on their minds.  Or you might have found that you started to say something but she wasn’t receptive. Your solution might just be to grab pen and paper and tell your mother how you feel.  Write out how things are from both points of view and where you see the breakdown occurring.  End the letter by acknowledging your love and appreciation for her.

8)  Write out your feelings.  Sometimes you may be angry at your mother and either you aren’t in a situation where you can express them, or you may not even be sure exactly why you are mad.  Freestyle writing might help you express all the hurt and pain you’re feeling without causing more.  Write out every thought that comes to your mind.  Don’t worry about spelling or punctuation.  Just write it.  Reach into the farthest corners of your mind and write down what you find.  You might be surprised at the real reason why you are angry.  Once you’re done, burn the paper and then make a plan of action.

9)  Don’t shout, yell or scream.  Have you ever noticed that the more people shout the less they are listening?  When two people are really connected they communicate with a single look or touch.  But if you’re busy shouting, your ability to listen is greatly diminished.  If you really want your mother to listen to you, don’t raise your voice or scream obscenities at her.  It will only put her on the defensive and will prevent her from hearing what you’re saying.  Leave the room if you must but don’t raise your volume as a means of being heard.

10)   Is her behavior specific to you? It might seem like she’s always picking on you but is she really? Are you sure she doesn’t do it to others?   Maybe what you’re seeing is your mother dealing with problems and emotions the only way she knows how to and will be the same no matter who she’s dealing with.  If that’s the case, you might decide to spend your energy helping her deal with problems a different way, rather than being angry at the specific behavior or conversation.

11)   Spend some time with her doing mundane tasks.  Help her with her chores or organizing her office.  Find out what she has going on in her life.  She may have pressures that you never knew she had.  Your mother will appreciate having someone to help relieve her stress, you might learn something new, and you might even have time left over to do something fun.

12)   Watch a movie with her that can help express how you feel.   Use the situations in the movie an opening to bring up what’s bothering you.  For example, Freaky Friday is a wonderful movie about a mother and daughter who literally switch places.  If you’re having trouble understanding what’s going on in each other’s lives, this is a great conversation starter.

13)   Practice gratitude.  Every night before you go to sleep, think about one thing that you are truly grateful for about your mother.  It doesn’t matter whether it’s something big or something small.  Maybe it’s the chicken soup she makes for you when you’re sick. Or maybe how she acts as a buffer between you and those who pick on you.  Write one thing down every day before you go to bed and re-read it every morning.  Before long you might find the anger you feel inside dissipating.

14)   Is it the pain talking?  Do either of you have a physical illness or discomfort that exacerbates the situation?   Most people can’t think their best or clearest when they’re in pain.  They might even lash out and say things they wouldn’t have said otherwise.  Perhaps you should hold tough conversations for a time when the pain-killers have kicked in and you or she can think clearly.

15)   Are you communicating enough?  We can only do the best we can with the information we have available to us.  If you don’t tell her what’s really going on in your life, how do you expect her to empathize with you?  If she doesn’t tell you what’s behind her decisions, how are you going to perceive them as being fair?  Talk to each other and be honest about your feelings and emotions surrounding the particular situation you are angry about.

16)   Pay attention to your dreams.  For those of us who can remember our dreams, they can offer amazing insights into a particular situation.  If you are angry at your mother and you have a dream about her, pay special attention to what happens in the dream.  Perhaps your unconscious mind is trying to tell you something.

17)   Stand up for what you truly believe in.  You may be angry at your mother for making you do something that goes against your grain.  Perhaps you wanted to study French cooking since you were little but she insisted on you becoming a doctor.  Or maybe she wanted you to buy that sporty new convertible but you really felt more comfortable with a utilitarian vehicle.  Whatever it is, stand up for your rights as this will diminish the anger and resentment you’ll feel towards your mother.

18)   Don’t give in to the guilt.  There are certain situations where your mother may be guilt-tripping you into doing something she knows you don’t want to do.  No matter how many times you’ve told yourself you won’t give in, you still end up doing want she wants.  The anger you feel inside might be avoided if you hadn’t given in to the guilt in the first place.  Next time, be firm and say “thank you but no thanks”.  Guilt serves no one and leads to the erosion of the relationship.  Save yourself the time and the trouble and learn to say no gently and kindly, but firmly.

19)   Offer an alternative solution.  Is there some other way to get resolve the issues that are feeding your anger?  Perhaps you’re angry because you have to give up your Sunday mornings so that you can take your mother to see her long-lost relatives (which you find boring).  Maybe you can arrange a once-a-month soiree where they come and see her instead.  Or you might be mad that she picks the exact moment when your favorite show comes on TV to bug you about anything and everything.  You might pick a particular hour as “mom hour” when she can talk to you about whatever’s on her mind.

20)   Stop lying to her.  If you want your mother to believe you when you are having a conversation, tell her the truth and be willing to face the consequences of your actions.  Even if she doesn’t agree with what you’ve done, the conversation will move from accusations of deceit to a more productive conversation about solutions and what to do going forward.

21)   Show an interest in her life.  You might be angry at your mother because it feels like she never takes an active interest in what goes on in your life.  If you want your mother to take more of an interest in your life, show her by example and take an interest in hers.  Maybe she’s really into soap operas.  Ask her about what she gets out of watching them.  She might be into charities or book clubs.  Go to an event with her.  Afterwards ask her if she’s willing to come to one of your events.  You might be pleasantly surprised.

22)   Talk to people that knew her when she was younger.  You’d be amazed at all the things you can find out about your mother by talking to her old friends or colleagues.  Maybe she pushes you away from dating a particular type of person because she had a bad experience with someone similar in her past.  She might push you to look your best at all times because people made fun of her looks when she was little and she doesn’t want the same thing happening to you.  Who knows what you’ll find out but chances are high that it’ll lead to a new understanding of her current actions and decisions.

23)   Bring in a mediator.  When the two of you can’t find a solution or middle ground, it might be time to bring in a neutral third party.  Someone who isn’t related to either of you and can act as a buffer as well as help you come to a mutual agreement.

24)   Seek professional help.  Try as we might, there are resentments that are so deep that we cannot deal with them on our own.  Rather than continue carrying that anger and resentment around, talk to a professional counselor or therapists.  They may be able to shed light on the issues or help you see the situations from different perspectives.

25)   Agree to disagree.  Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we just can’t see eye to eye.  When you’ve tried every which way to make matters better and nothing seems to work, you might decide that it’s time to let sleeping dogs lie and agree to disagree.

 

Is There an Elephant in Your Room?

We have all been there - a situation when we need to have a difficult conversation with someone and we just don’t know how to start. Maybe, someone we love is going through something that is really difficult and we want to give them their space but we also want to remind them… we are there for them.

Sharon Brennan, the creator of the There’s An Elephant in the Room cards, has developed a greeting card that will help you say what you need to say.  The Elephant in the Room cards give a person a chance to say something that might be difficult to say, but that needs to be said but in a way that is more comfortable for all parties.

After visiting Sharon’s website and reading through her cards, I was inspired to learn more about what inspired her to create these cards and how people can use them to handle different situations in their lives.  In the following interview, you’ll get a sense of the person behind this great idea as well as inspiration on how to incorporate them into your difficult conversations.

Soulgineering: Can you describe, “There’s an Elephant in the Room” cards?

Sharon: “There’s an Elephant in the Room Cards” were designed to help people move with grace through difficult moments in their relationships. When I was creating them, I tried to think of all the times in my life when I had found words so difficult to say out loud. I then came to realize that when I did have the courage to say the words, suddenly I was on a new road with the relationship or situation. Sometimes this meant leaving someone behind that was doing me harm and often it was a time when I needed help but was too proud or afraid to ask for it. For some reason many of us have come to believe that we have to carry a burden alone or save face by not speaking up. Often for me, if I let a stressful issue go too long, I find that I deal with the scenario with much less grace because I am frustrated or angry by the time I say anything at all. These cards are designed to help people who are afraid yet know things must change, and just can’t say the words out loud. Available in paper and e-cards, they have been created to restore, to blast holes in dark places and let the light in, and to move elephants out of rooms. Although the subject matter is brewed in difficult times, each card is infused with humanity, each message written with an imagined positive outcome and each elephant standing aware of the weight it carries as it travels to its destination.

Soulgineering: What caused the light bulb to go off in your head that you should turn sometimes awkward, uncomfortable or even sometimes hard-to-state loving comments into a type of greeting card?

Sharon: A few years ago our daughter was accepted to university and my husband and I were so proud. We told everyone what a genius she was. We were THOSE people who after a dinner party, the rest of the guests ask “do they really think they are the only people who have ever had a child accepted to a university?” We didn’t care. We carried on. We would chat brightly about her future – she might teach, (at a university level of course). She might write a book, (certainly it would be a best seller!) As summer days passed we became more sentimental. The evening before her flight there was champagne and tears. She was ready! We knew it. Looking back now, I don’t remember our daughter having that much to say that summer. Off she went to school though and within a matter of days she had met a boy and by Christmas she had dropped out, moved in with him and shortly thereafter announced they were going to Australia.

We were devastated and reacted with all kinds of things like “You’re ruining your life!” “Do you know how many people can’t go to university?” And my personal favorite, “How could you do this to US?” Replaying these events in my mind I realized that the frustration we felt was amplified by not saying what we were really feeling. We should have said what was in our hearts. “We love you so much. Please be careful with your precious life. If it doesn’t work out, you can always come home”.

Not long after this a friend of mine found herself standing in church next to her mother’s casket. Beside her was her sister whose rounded belly told all that she was expecting her first baby. Their Dad had died a year before in a car accident and now their Mum had gone the same way. I sat and watched these two women and wondered how they would cope. Sniffles in the congregation displayed that many were grieving this loss, yet the sisters stood tall, spoke strongly of loving memories and met each guest with care. Listening to the minister’s calming words I looked around the room. Children were fidgeting, couples were pensively looking on and seniors were no doubt remembering friends who were gone. I looked back at my friend and realized that within a few days the routine would resume for us. I wondered, “As the rest of us recover and move on what about you?”

The initial idea for these cards though came from an incident involving a friend’s son who was addicted to drugs and alcohol. He had been to rehabilitation centers and seemed to be improving until one day when his Dad stopped by his apartment unexpectedly and very quickly realized that his boy was using drugs again. Confronting him he asked, “Why didn’t you tell me you were in trouble? You know I would help you.” His son sat for a moment and said “I’ve let you down so many times, I just couldn’t disappoint you again. I just couldn’t say the words out loud.” To think that a person could have all of this love and support and yet feel like they couldn’t say the necessary words to ask for help, well it just broke my heart.

Soulgineering: What are some examples of Elephant in the room cards?

Sharon: There are 24 cards in the line so I won’t list them all, theycan be seen at www.elephantroomcards.com, but a few I like are:
- “I love how you can save the day…but I need to do this for myself”
- “I’m confused…what has changed between us”.
- “I’m exhausted…I can’t be happy for both of us”
- “My heart is like a rock in my belly…I let you down and I’m sorry”
- “If we want to survive…we need to make a change”

Soulgineering: Some of the cards have a pretty intense message, for example, “Enough, enough…I have had enough” or “Simply put.you need to let me go.” how are people at the receiving end of these cards responding?

Sharon: One of the surprising things is that I don’t really hear from people who receive the cards, but I do hear from those who sent them. The real purpose of the line is to open up communication. This may bring some defensive reactions at times. This is natural. Once the message has been delivered though, it’s out there and it has to be addressed, so when I get letters they come from people who have made the decision that they can’t stand keeping everything inside anymore, and they do feel like a tremendous burden has been lifted off their shoulders even if it has brought with it consequences that force an issue. They have left the chaos and sick stomach that comes with not speaking their own truth, and in some cases they have finally asked someone for help. Both of these scenarios carry tremendous power. I spoke to a man this weekend, a lawyer who told me that until he became sick with cancer he had no idea how much so many people cared for him. He said, “If one of my friends sent me a card that said “I’m in trouble”, I would drop everything and go to them to help them”, so why would this man be so willing to offer help but be so afraid to ask for it when he was in need? I have also had people tell me that when they send a more difficult message often the person on the receiving end is almost as relieved as they are, because they too haven’t had the courage to address the elephant in the room but know at some point the conversation is going to have to take place.

Soulgineering: In situations involving those cards, do you think that the response from the receiver is kind of not that important, it is really all about the empowerment of the sender?

Sharon: I think that all of the parts of our human experience that we can control, are governed by one thing, and that is, how we react to what is going on in our lives. So the cards are all about the sender reacting with respect to whatever situation has brought them to this place. The person who receives the card is then given exactly the same opportunity to respond with respect or not. The sender cannot control this but with an open and yes empowered heart, they can know that they did what they could to keep communication in a non-aggressive environment. The cards are generally straight forward enough that they are clear and leave little ambiguity for the one on the receiving end. It has been my experience that the more aggressive someone is about receiving news in a respectful way, the more important it was to deliver the message in the first place.
Soulgineering: What do you advise people to do once they have sent the card?

Sharon: I really don’t advise. I am the creator of the cards and I have certainly given all of this a lot of thought, but I am not a psychiatrist or psychologist so I am careful about giving advice. My thought though, based on my own vast, life experience from past relationship mess-ups, when I didn’t say what was needed to be said, is that every single relationship will unfold, restore or end, based on the individuals in it and who they are, where they are in their lives and what each of them want going forward. I think that most of us know what to do most of the time, we just don’t have the courage to do it. Many people stay in unhappy relationships citing a multitude of excuses, or spend their lives complaining to people who cannot do anything about the situation, rather than taking the steps to fix it themselves. So to answer your question, the only thing a person can do once they have sent the cards is wait for the reaction that comes back and then react to that, keeping the initial goal of respectful communication in mind

 

 

Sharon Brennan has co-written and contributed to two books, The Action Sandwich and  The Right Road.  Sharon has a solid background in Arts Management having worked in the world of symphony orchestras in marketing, development and special events roles as well as senior administration. For the past decade she has acted as manager, promoter and co-writer with musician, author and public speaker Alan Frew.
She also works for Jeans ’n Classics Inc., (www.jeansnclassics.com) her family business creates, produces and performs symphonic rock concerts with orchestras all over the world. Sharon and her family live in Canada.

 

Visit There’s an Elephant in the Room website to view cards and learn more about Sharon.

Feel the Need to Heal, and the Urge to Heal Others?

First it begins with knowing you want to help others, probably not knowing how or what to do, just a knowing that you want to help others. Then that may turn into the wanting to help others heal, and in order to do that you must first begin to heal yourself and sort of clean out your own junk so you can better help others heal from theirs.

You may not fully understand what to do, you just have this overwhelming urge to start healing yourself and a burning desire to help others. As you wake up to this calling you may find yourself going through alot of changes and letting go of the old or unnecessary things in your life. This letting go and balancing is necessary in this healing process. When we learn through experience what it is to heal from circumstances and experiences that are challenging, we are better equipped to help heal those we cross in our path.

When we are feeling as though we have no idea what we want to do, we are what seems to be stuck, there is a good possibility that you are in the process of healing and balancing what needs to be, in order for your next step to be shown to you.

Once we begin to understand what is involved in the healing process we can truly help others to heal on theirs. When this urge seems so strong and you are not sure what to call it… you can almost guarantee you are in the process of becoming aware or awakening to the fact that you are a lightworker, indigo, starseed, wayshower or anything alike. There is more than likely something stirring within you, telling you it is time to wake up and start the process that is necessary for you to become a healer. Which ALWAYS begins with healing yourself first, through looking within and letting go of anything old or useless from your past and present, that no longer serves you good, in order to make room for new and beneficial.

If healing is in your vocabulary, than make good use of it. It is there for a reason. If your intention is to heal, then events, experiences, or people will be brought into our life and experiences will manifest to help show you the process in which, will be most beneficial to you personally on your healing journey. Be forewarned it can be a challenging and sometimes confusing journey but one you will be fully supported and guided on that will have rewards that last a lifetime.

 

Article by Spirituality InYou which is a collaboration of a variety of healers including reiki, healing touch, reflexology, card readers, psychics, work shops and more.

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Grief: The Loss of a Thing, Person or Idea

Grief is more than just the loss of a loved one.  Grief can also mean the loss of a relationship, employment, your home, a financial loss or even the loss of friend who has moved away or a sibling who won’t talk to you anymore.  We also grieve when we think our life should have gone a certain way and it didn’t.

Listen to Sandra Champlain, creator of SurviveGrief.com as she talks about the many different kinds of grief with Dawn Katzin and Sara Vitale on Spiritual Perspectives Radio.  Sandra will take you through her personal story of loss and guide you through the different stages of grieving.  She’ll walk you through the ways you can tell if you or someone you know is going through the grieving process and then will give you advice and insight on how to make it through.

Sandra’s own story involves not only the loss of her grandmother and shortly afterwards of her father, but also the loss of her siblings, whom she stopped talking to after her father’s death.  Sandra’s story recounts how she went through anticipatory grief: when you start the grief process of shock, denial, anger, bargaining and acceptance, during the days when she saw her father fight the cancer that would eventually take his life.  She also describes the things she learned about herself and the courage she gained as a result of having gone through such a loss.  In an effort to help others who are going through what she went through, Sandra created a free downloadable audio file called How to Survive Grief which you may find on SurviveGrief.com.

Most people can identify grief when someone has suffered an obvious loss of a loved one and give them time to go through the process.  What most people don’t know is that losing a thing, person or an idea you love can also trigger grief.  If we were able to identify it as such, we would be able to offer the support and encouragement that makes the process easier to go through.  Sandra helps you identify the signs of grief which include:  having no energy, feeling exhausted all the time, feeling empty inside, always wanting to be alone, being unable to sleep or eat or sleeping/eating too much, having a lot of arguments and miscommunication, forgetfulness, poor work performance, fear, sadness, anger and guilt.

Sandra will say that the best way through the grieving process is to be present in the moment, identify it as grief, and just live it out.  Just go through the process and allow you and/or your loved ones to go through with it.

Listen to these ideas and much, much more on the Spiritual Perspectives Interview.

 

To listen to the interview click here.

To learn more about Sandra Champlain go here.

Image courtesy of nolandis

Should You Stay With or Leave Your Partner?

Whether you’ve been with someone for a few weeks, months, or years, determining whether you should stay in a relationship or leave is a decision that can be hard to reach.  You once thought that you were perfect for each other but you are starting to have doubts.  Or perhaps your partner has started hinting that you might be better off if you go separate ways.  How do you go about deciding whether to stay and hope it gets better, or leave and cut your losses?  While the answer lies fully within you, there are guidelines that can help you determine how you really feel and what route you should take.  You can choose to talk to a counselor, a pastor or priest, a close friend, or a member of your family.  However, in the meantime you can always start the process by stopping to take full inventory of where your relationship stands and where you want to be.

The 60 questions you will find below are meant as a guide to assist you in making the right decision, not only for you but also for your partner and/or children as well.  There are many more questions that can be asked and it would be hard to anticipate every situation that humans encounter.  But if you feel that at least one of these questions hits the nail on the head, then you can address the real issue at hand and hopefully reach a solution.

1.  Is the relationship elevating you to new heights or dragging you into the dumps?

2.  Are the problems you are facing now temporary or permanent?

3.  Are you or your partner physically, mentally or emotionally abusive to each other?

4.  If you are separated by distance, how does this affect the relationship?  Does it make it easier or harder?

5.  Is your partner incarcerated or in a mental health institution and if so, how long will they be there?

6.  If you were presented with the opportunity to marry again or start the relationship over again, would you still do it knowing what you know now?

7.  Did you or your partner do something that the other just can’t forgive?  Does it keep resurfacing in your fights and arguments?

8.  Is it really love keeping you together or the fear of being alone or the feeling that no one else will love you or want you?

9.  Do you respect your partner?  Do they respect you?

10.  If God told you that it was okay to leave the relationship, would you feel relieved?

11.  Is your partner meeting your needs?  Are you meeting theirs?

12.  If you weren’t in a relationship with this person and you didn’t have the feelings of lust or love, would you still like them as a person?  Would you still enjoy their company and conversation?

13.  Are you proud to be with your partner?

14.  Are you still sexually attracted to your partner?  Is your partner still sexually attracted to you?

15.  Does your partner relish in your success or do they resent it?

16.  Do you and your partner still have fun together?

17.  Do you and your partner have mutual goals that you’d like to fulfill as a couple?

18.  Does your relationship enhance your life or does it drain it?

19.  Do you still see your partner and relationship as providing you with long-term happiness?

20.  Have either of you lost your commitment to each other?

21.  Do you spend most of your time fighting or sharing your love for each other?

22.  Has one of you achieved great personal growth while the other has remained stagnant?  Have you outgrown the relationship?

23.  Are you or your partner ambivalent about commitment?  Do you want to take your relationship to the next level – whether it’s moving in together, getting married, having kids, buying property together or starting a business together?

24.  If your religious beliefs weren’t an issue, would you still stay?

25.  If you don’t have children yet, do you see your partner as a great mother/father to your kids?

26.  If you do have children, what do you think they would advise you to do?

27.  When you cry, are you crying because you think you failed once again or are you crying because you feel the loss of a loved one in your life?

28.  Is your life and/or that of your loved ones in danger if you stay?

29.  Are financial reasons the biggest reason of why you are choosing to stay?

30.  Do you still love your partner?  Are you still in love with your partner?

31.  Is your partner holding you back from accomplishing your life goals?

32.  Do you want to spend the only life you have attached to this person?

33.  When was the first time you thought of leaving your partner?  Has it been days, months or years?  Has it gotten any better?

34.  If you were to ask the person you most trusted and respected for advice about your relationship, what would they say?

35.  If cheating was involved, what led to the cheating?  What needs was your partner not meeting that this new person did?  What needs were you not able to meet that the other person did?

36.  Are you still having sexual relations with your partner?

37.  When was the last time you made love?

38.  Can you still communicate with each other via a silent glance across a crowded room or do you resort to shouting and yelling?

39.  Does your partner encourage you to be yourself or do they urge you to be their version of an ideal partner?

40.  If you made a list of the qualities you desire in an ideal partner, how many of those qualities would your partner have?  If your partner did their own list, how many qualities would you have?

41.  What’s the worst thing that could happen if you stay?  What’s the worst thing that could happen if you left?

42.  Do you still feel or have you ever felt genuine admiration and awe for your partner?

43.  Are you still waiting for them to change?  How long have you been waiting?  How long will you continue to wait?

44.  Do you have a support network that you can turn to that will be there for you regardless of the decision you make?

45.  Do you have the freedom and ability to live your own life alongside your partner or do they control every aspect of your life?

46.  What does your gut tell you to do?  Do your instincts tell you to leave or to stay?

47.  Is your partner waiting for you to change?

48.  Are you in love with your partner or are you in love with the idea of your partner or even your partner’s potential?

49.  Do you still make time to go out on date nights where it’s just the two of you?

50.  Is there still trust in the relationship?  Are there constant accusations of jealousy, lying or betrayal?

51.  Do you find that you’re constantly experiencing your own worst qualities rather than your best?  Does your partner bring out the worst in you or the best?

52.  How do you feel about the things they consider important: their friends, their hobbies, their career, their family, etc.?

53.  Do you love your partner enough to do what’s right for them?

54.  Do you fear hurting your partner if you were to leave?  Which would hurt them more, having you stay when you don’t want to, or leaving them and releasing them to follow another path?

55.  Are you strong enough to leave?  Are you strong enough to stay?  What can you do to increase your strength?

56.  Do you take each other for granted?

57.  Is your fear of change greater than your need for happiness?

58.  Do you share political beliefs?  Spiritual beliefs?  Are you respectful of each other’s opinions?

59.  Do your extended families get along?  What do you think about your in-laws?  What do they think of you?  Is there any unresolvable friction between you?

60. Do you love yourself enough to do what is right for you?

Remember, only you and your partner can decide whether you should stay or end your relationship.  Whatever decision you do decide to make, make it a guilt-free decision by realizing that you are making the best decision you can based on the current knowledge you have.   Make a fully-informed and well-thought-out decision and you’ll have no regrets.

Good luck!

The Dear God Project

It is said that there is power in numbers.  Why not use those numbers to help your prayer reach God?  That is the idea behind the Dear God Project, a global platform for sharing inner hopes, fears and aspirations through the medium of prayer. With just a simple click of a button, you can submit your prayer or request and have others pray on your behalf.   You can submit a prayer directly on the site, through Facebook or via Twitter.  Either way, just the simple act of voicing your prayer will bring it that much closer to being answered.

To help inspire you, here is a sampling of the top prayers.

Is the world ending? I don’t want the world to end.  I like my life and have things planned.  I know though when you have things planned they never go the way you imagine.  Its scary the stuff that goes on in the world.  I pray for Japan and all the people there, i pray all survivors will be found and saved, please rest on the land and with the people.  I know theres more to life than the mundane drill of 9-5.  i know i have to do that in order to survive but i know theres  more to tap in to, please show it to me.  Take fear away from my life and the lives of others and i pray we will all live in peace.  Please take away the fears in my heart.  I say thank you for my life, please help me to live it to the full. Please give me energy everyday and energy to others who need it. I pray love and beauty will grow in me, mylife, my relationships and in others. – 267 PRAYERS

I have been typing everything that I tried to put into words, but I end up getting tongue twisted and erased all. I miss You.. I miss talking to you in the morning right when I wake and I miss saying goodnight to you before I sleep. I miss the feeling of Your unconditional love that I consistently dwelled in. There are so many things holding me back to be the person You want me to be, and I’m here asking for help.. Life has been a wreck, full of bad decisions and built up anger and unforgiveness without You. I know that church cannot save us, but I want to be able to find people to open up to and fellowship with real believers. So here I am.. On bended knees, offering everything that is left of me. Mold me, guide me, walk beside me<3 - 114 PRAYERS

The words “I’m sorry” don’t seem to suffice the situation. I have walked away from our union. I turned my back on you and demanded a divorce. I asked that we remain friends if you can even call it that. I was abusive in the way that I expected you to fulfill my every fancy but ask for nothing from me in return. I had hoped to go on living my life without ever giving you another thought. It has been impossible. Every day revolves around you. I hear your name whispered from the lips of my friends and family. I see you in my dreams, you encase my every thought. I have known all along what I have been missing. I was afraid of what my life could become with you. I was afraid of just how high I could soar with you. I hope that you will take me back, that I can somehow reconcile our marriage. I will strive to be the kind of woman that you have created me to be. All I have to offer is myself, so that is what I will give. My heart is yours. I only hope that you find me worthy of your grace and forgiveness. I offer you my love, and hope to feel yours once again.- 126 PRAYERS

I want to be an instrument of Your love and mercy, but my heart is filled with such hate and anger. Please forgive me for everytime I refused to love because I felt wronged. Please lead me by Your example so I can live a life that is pleasing to you. Lead me to do things out of love simply because it is the right thing to do. Heal me, tame my heart. – 183 PRAYERS

When all else fails, and even before, you’re there. Thank you. You are my rock, and you are my redeemer. – 226 PRAYERS

Please open up my eyes, dear Lord that I might clearly see. Help me stand for what is right, bring out the best in me. Help me, Lord, to just say “no” when temptation comes my way, that I might keep my body clean. When my teenage years are over, I know that I will see that life is lived its very best with you walking next to me. – 246 PRAYERS

 

Dear God Project:  official website, Twitter, Facebook

Old Age is a Gift

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body – the wrinkles, the baggy eyes and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don’t agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I’ve aged, I’ve become more kind to myself and less critical of myself. I’ve become my own friend. I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn’t need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read until 4:00 am and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50s & 60s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will. I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the bikini set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten and I eventually remember the important things. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. I can say “no” and mean it. I can say “yes” and mean it. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore. I’ve even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day.

 

Author unknown.

Kids Give Definition of Love

It’s hard to define love.  Poets, philosophers, gurus, teachers and sages have tried to describe it throughout the ages but we’re still not any closer to having one definition that everyone can agree on.

It’s often said that children are wiser than adults.  They are very observant and often notice things that grown ups have stopped noticing.  Maybe we should ask them.  What do kids think love is?

When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love. — Rebecca- age 8

“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.” — Chrissy – age 6

“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.” — Bobby – age 7

“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.” –Mary Ann – age 4

“No one is sure why it [love] happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That’s why perfume and deodorant are so popular.” Jan – age 9

“Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food.” — Brad, age 8

“It’s love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it’s just like how their hearts are — on fire.” — Christine, age 9

“Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don’t have to give her back to her parents!” — Eric, age 6

Hate is a little man
Banging on my heart
And love is the heart
Swallowing up the little man
— Megan, middle school

“When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.” — Billy- age 7

“When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.” — Karen – age 7

 

Quotes gathered from:  Things about love,   Power to change, SFGate.

Image courtesy of mwink.

The God Memorandum

TO:  YOU

FROM:  GOD

Take counsel.

I hear your cry.

It passes through the darkness, filters through the clouds, mingles with starlight, and finds its way to my heart on the path of a sunbeam.

I have anguished over the cry of a hare choked in the noose of a snare, a sparrow tumbled from the nest of its mother, a child thrashing helplessly in a pond, and a son shedding his blood on a cross.

Know that I hear you, also. Be at peace. Be calm.

I bring thee relief for your sorrow for I know its cause … and its cure.

You weep for all your childhood dreams that have vanished with the years.

You weep for all your self-esteem that has been corrupted by failure.

You weep for all your potential that has been bartered for security.

You weep for all your talent that has been wasted through misuse.

You look upon yourself with disgrace and you turn in terror from the image you see in the pool. Who is this mockery of humanity staring back at you with bloodless eyes of shame?

Where is the grace of your manner, the beauty of your figure, the quickness of your movement, the clarity of your mind, the brilliance of your tongue? Who stole your goods? Is the thief’s identity known to you, as it is to me?

Once you placed your head in a pillow of grass in your father’s field and looked up at a cathedral of clouds and knew that all the gold of Babylon would be yours in time.

Once you read from many books and wrote on many tablets, convinced beyond any doubt that all the wisdom of Solomon would be equaled and surpassed by you.

And the seasons would flow into years until lo, you would reign supreme in your own garden of Eden.

Dost thou remember who implanted those plans and dreams and seeds of hope within you?

You cannot.

You have no memory of that moment when first you emerged from your mother’s womb and I placed my hand on your soft brow. And the secret I whispered in your small ear when I bestowed my blessings upon you?

Remember our secret?

You cannot.

The passing years have destroyed your recollection, for they have filled your mind with fear and doubt and anxiety and remorse and hate and there is no room for joyful memories where these beasts habitate.

Weep no more. I am with you … and this moment is the dividing line of your life. All that has gone before is like unto no more than that time you slept within your mother’s womb. What is past is dead. Let the dead bury the dead.

This day you return from the living dead.

This day, like unto Elijah with the widow’s son, I stretch myself upon thee three times and you live again.

This day, like unto Elisha with the Shunammite’s son, I put my mouth upon your mouth and my eyes upon your eyes and my hands upon your hands and your flesh is warm again.

This day, like unto Jesus at the tomb of Lazarus, I command you to come forth and you will walk from your cave of doom to begin a new life.

This is your birthday. This is your new date of birth. Your first life, like unto a play of the theatre, was only a rehearsal. This time the curtain is up. This time the world watches and waits to applaud. This time you will not fail.

Light your candles. Share your cake. Pour the wine. You have been reborn.

Like a butterfly from its chrysalis you will fly … fly as high as you wish, and neither the wasps nor dragonflies nor mantids of mankind shall obstruct your mission or your search for the true riches of life.

Feel my hand upon thy head.

Attend to my wisdom.

Let me share with you, again, the secret you heard at your birth and forgot.

You are my greatest miracle.

You are the greatest miracle in the world.

Those were the first words you ever heard. Then you cried. They all cry …

You did not believe me then … and nothing has happened in the intervening years to correct your disbelief. For how could you be a miracle when you consider yourself a failure at the most menial of tasks? How can you be a miracle when you have little confidence in dealing with the most trivial of responsibilities? How can you be a miracle when you are shackled by debt and lie awake in torment over whence will come tomorrow’s bread?

Enough. The milk that is spilled is sour. Yet, how many prophets, how many wise men, how many poets, how many artists, how many composers, how many scientists, how many philosophers and messengers have I sent with word of your divinity, your potential for godliness, and the secrets of achievement? How did you treat them?

Still I love you and I am with you now, through these words, to fulfill the prophet who announced that the Lord shall set his hand again, the second time, to recover the remnant of his people.

I have set my hand again.

This is the second time.

You are my remnant.

It is of no avail to ask, haven’t you known, haven’t you heard, hasn’t it been told to you from the beginning; haven’t you understood from the foundations of the earth?

You have not known; you have not heard; you have not understood.

You have been told that you are a divinity in disguise, a god playing a fool.

You have been told that you a special piece of work, noble in reason, infinite in faculties, express and admirable in form and moving, like an angel in action, like a god in apprehension.

You have been told that you are the salt of the earth.

You were given the secret even of moving mountains, of performing the impossible.

You believed no one. You burned your map to happiness, you abandoned your claim to peace of mind, you snuffed out the candles that had been placed along your destined path of glory, and then you stumbled, lost and frightened, in the darkness of futility and self-pity, until you fell into a hell of your own creation.

Then you cried and beat your breast and cursed the luck that had befallen you. You refused to accept the consequences of your own petty thoughts and lazy deeds and you searched for a scapegoat on which to blame your failure. How quickly you found one.

You blamed me!

You cried that your handicaps, your mediocrity, your lack of opportunity, your failures … were the will of God!

You were wrong!

Let us take inventory. Let us, first, call a roll of your handicaps. For how can I ask you to build a new life lest you have the tools?

Are you blind? Does the sun rise and fall without your witness?

No. You can see … and the hundred million receptors I have placed in your eyes enable you to enjoy the magic of a leaf, a snowflake, a pond, an eagle, a child, a cloud, a star, a rose, a rainbow … and the look of love. Count one blessing.

Are you deaf? Can a baby laugh or cry without your attention?

No. You can hear … and the twenty-four thousand fibers I have built in each of your ears vibrate to the wind in the trees, the tides on the rocks, the majesty of an opera, a robin’s plea, children at play … and the words I love you. Count another blessing.

Are you mute? Do your lips move and bring forth only spittle?

No. You can speak … as can no other of my creatures, and your words can calm the angry, uplift the despondent, goad the quitter, cheer the unhappy, warm the lonely, praise the worthy, encourage the defeated, teach the ignorant … and say I love you. Count another blessing.

Are you paralyzed? Does your helpless form despoil the land?

No. You can move. You are not a tree condemned to a small plot while the wind and world abuses you. You can stretch and run and dance and work, for within you I have designed five hundred muscles, two hundred bones, and seven miles of nerve fiber all synchronized by me to do your bidding. Count another blessing.

Are you unloved and unloving? Does loneliness engulf you, night and day?

No. No more. For now you know love’s secret, that to receive love it must be given with no thought of its return. To love for fulfillment, satisfaction, or pride is no love. Love is a gift on which no return is demanded. Now you know that to love unselfishly is its own reward. And even should love not be returned it is not lost, for love not reciprocated will flow back to you and soften and purify your heart. Count another blessing. Count twice.

Is your heart stricken? Does it leak and strain to maintain your life?

No. Your heart is strong. Touch your chest and feel its rhythm, pulsating, hour after hour, day and night, thirty-six million beats each year, year after year, asleep or awake, pumping your blood through more than sixty thousand miles of veins, arteries, and tubing … pumping more than six hundred thousand gallons each year. Man has never created such a machine. Count another blessing.

Are you diseased of skin? Do people turn in horror when you approach?

No. Your skin is clear and a marvel of creation, needing only that you tend it with soap and oil and brush and care. In time all steels will tarnish and rust, but not your skin. Eventually the strongest of metals will wear, with use, but not that layer that I have constructed around you. Constantly it renews itself, old cells replaced by new, just as the old you is now replaced by the new. Count another blessing.

Are your lungs befouled? Does your breath of life struggle to enter your body?

No. Your portholes to life support you even in the vilest of environments of your own making, and they labor always to filter life-giving oxygen through six hundred million pockets of folded flesh while they rid your body of gaseous wastes. Count another blessing.

Is your blood poisoned? Is it diluted with water and pus?

No. Within your five quarts of blood are twenty-two trillion blood cells and within each cell are millions of molecules and within each molecule is an atom oscillating at more than ten million times each second. Each second, two million of your blood cells die to be replaced by two million more in a resurrection that has continued since your first birth. As it has always been inside, so now it is on your outside. Count another blessing.

Are you feeble of mind? Can you no longer think for yourself?

No. Your brain is the most complex structure in the universe. I know. Within its three pounds are thirteen billion nerve cells, more than three times as many cells as there are people on your earth. To help you file away every perception, every sound, every taste, every smell, every action you have experienced since the day of your birth, I have implanted, within your cells, more than one thousand billion billion protein molecules. Every incident in your life is there waiting only your recall. And, to assist your brain in the control of your body I have dispersed, throughout your form, four million pain-sensitive structures, five hundred thousand touch detectors, and more than two hundred thousand temperature detectors. No nation’s gold is better protected than you. None of your ancient wonders are greater than you.

You are my finest creation.

Within you is enough atomic energy to destroy any of the world’s great cities … and rebuild it.

Are you poor? Is there no gold or silver in your purse?

No. You are rich! Together we have just counted your wealth. Study the list. Count them again. Tally your assets!

Why have you betrayed yourself? Why have you cried that all the blessings of humanity were removed from you? Why did you deceive yourself that you were powerless to change your life? Are you without talent, senses, abilities, pleasures, instincts, sensations, and pride? Are you without hope? Why do you cringe in the shadows, a giant defeated, awaiting only sympathetic transport into the welcome void and dampness of hell?

You have so much. Your blessings overflow your cup … and you have been unmindful of them, like a child spoiled in luxury, since I have bestowed them upon you with generosity and regularity.

Answer me.

Answer yourself.

What rich man, old and sick, feeble and helpless, would not exchange all the gold in his vault for the blessings you have treated so lightly.

Know then the first secret to happiness and success – that you possess, even now, every blessing necessary to achieve great glory. They are your treasure, your tools with which to build, starting today, the foundation for a new and better life.

Therefore, I say unto you, count your blessings and know that you already are my greatest creation. This is the first law you must obey in order to perform the greatest miracle in the world, the return of your humanity from living death.

And be grateful for your lessons learned in poverty. For he is not poor who has little; only he that desires much … and true security lies not in the things one has but in the things one can do without.

Where are the handicaps that produced your failure? They existed only in your mind.

Count your blessings.

And the second law is like unto the first. Proclaim your rarity.

You had condemned yourself to a potter’s field, and there you lay, unable to forgive your own failure, destroying yourself with self-hate, self-incrimination, and revulsion at your crimes against yourself and others.

Are you not perplexed?

Do you not wonder why I am able to forgive your failures, your transgressions, your pitiful demeanor … when you cannot forgive yourself?

I address you now, for three reasons. You need me. You are not one of a herd heading for destruction in a gray mass of mediocrity. And … you are a great rarity.

Consider a painting by Rembrandt or a bronze by Degas or a violin by Stradivarius or a play by Shakespeare. They have great value for two reasons: their creators were masters and they are few in number. Yet there are more than one of each of these.

On that reasoning you are the most valuable treasure on the face of the earth, for you know who created you and there is only one of you.

Never, in all the seventy billion humans who have walked this planet since the beginning of time has there been anyone exactly like you.

Never, until the end of time, will there be another such as you.

You have shown no knowledge or appreciation of your uniqueness.

Yet, you are the rarest thing in the world.

From your father, in his moment of supreme love, flowed countless seeds of love, more than four hundred million in number. All of them, as they swam within your mother, gave up the ghost and died. All except one! You.

You alone persevered within the loving warmth of your mother’s body, searching for your other half, a single cell from your mother so small that more than two million would be necessary to fill an acorn shell. Yet, despite impossible odds, in that vast ocean of darkness and disaster, you persevered, found that infinitesimal cell, joined with it, and began a new life. Your life.

You arrived, bringing with you, as does every child, the message that I was not yet discouraged of man. Two cells now united in a miracle. Two cells, each containing twenty-three chromosomes and within each chromosome hundreds of genes, which would govern every characteristic about you, from the color of your eyes to the charm of your manner, to the size of your brain.

With all the combinations at my command, beginning with that single sperm from your father’s four hundred million, through the hundreds of genes in each of the chromosomes from your mother and father, I could have created three hundred thousand billion humans, each different from the other.

But who did I bring forth?

You! One of a kind. Rarest of the rare. A priceless treasure, possessed of qualities in mind and speech and movement and appearance and actions as no other who has ever lived, lives, or shall live.

Why have you valued yourself in pennies when you are worth a king’s ransom?

Why did you listen to those who demeaned you … and far worse, why did you believe them?

Take counsel. No longer hide your rarity in the dark. Bring it forth. Show the world. Strive not to walk as your brother walks, nor talk as your leader talks, nor labor as do the mediocre. Never do as another. Never imitate. For how do you know that you may not imitate evil; and he who imitates evil always goes beyond the example set, while he who imitates what is good always falls short. Imitate no one. Be yourself. Show your rarity to the world and they will shower you with gold. This then is the second law.

Proclaim your rarity.

And now you have received two laws.

Count your blessings! Proclaim your rarity!

You have no handicaps. You are not mediocre.

You nod. You force a smile. You admit your self-deception.

What of your next complaint? Opportunity never seeks thee?

Take counsel and it shall come to pass, for now I give you the law of success in every venture. Many centuries ago this law was given to your forefathers from a mountain top. Some heeded the law and lo, their life was filled with the fruit of happiness, accomplishment, gold, and peace of mind. Most listened not, for they sought magic means, devious routes, or waited for the devil called luck to deliver to them the riches of life. They waited in vain … just as you waited, and then they wept, blaming their lack of fortune.

The law is simple. Young or old, pauper or king, white or black, male or female … all can use the secret to their advantage; for all the rules and speeches and scriptures of success and how to attain it, only one method has never failed … whomsoever shall compel ye to go with him one mile … go with him two.

This then is the third law … the secret that will produce riches and acclaim beyond your dreams. Go another mile!

The only certain means of success is to render more and better service than is expected of you, no matter what your task may be. This is a habit followed by all successful people since the beginning of time. Therefore I saith the surest way to doom yourself to mediocrity is to perform only the work for which you are paid.

Think not ye are being cheated if you deliver more than the silver you receive. For there is a pendulum to all life and the sweat you deliver, if not rewarded today, will swing back tomorrow, tenfold. The mediocre never goes another mile, for why should he cheat himself, he thinks. But you are not mediocre. To go another mile is a privilege you must appropriate by your own initiative. You cannot, you must not avoid it. Neglect it, do only as little as the others, and the responsibility for your failure is yours alone.

You can no more render service without receiving just compensation than you can withhold the rendering of it without suffering the loss of reward. Cause and effect, means and ends, seed and fruit, these cannot be separated. The effect already blooms in the cause, the end pre-exists in the means, and the fruit is always in the seed.

Go another mile.

Concern yourself not, should you serve an ungrateful master. Serve him more.

And instead of him, let it be me who is in your debt, for then you will know that every minute, every stroke of extra service will be repaid. And worry not, should your reward not come soon. For the longer payment is withheld, the better for you … and compound interest on compound interest is this law’s greatest benefit.

You cannot command success, you can only deserve it … and now you know the great secret necessary in order to merit its rare reward.

Go another mile!

Where is this field whence you cried there was no opportunity? Look! Look around thee. See, where only yesterday you wallowed on the refuse of self-pity, you now walk tall on a carpet of gold. Nothing has changed … except you, but you are everything.

You are my greatest miracle.

You are the greatest miracle in the world.

And now the laws of happiness and success are three.

Count your blessings! Proclaim your rarity! Go another mile!

Be patient with your progress. To count your blessings with gratitude, to proclaim your rarity with pride, to go an extra mile and then another, these acts are not accomplished in the blinking of an eye. Yet, that which you acquire with most difficulty you retain the longest; as those who have earned a fortune are more careful of it than those by whom it was inherited.

And fear not as you enter your new life. Every noble acquisition is attended with its risks. He who fears to encounter the one must not expect to obtain the other. Now you know you are a miracle. And there is no fear in a miracle.

Be proud. You are not the momentary whim of a careless creator experimenting in the laboratory of life. You are not a slave of forces that you cannot comprehend. You are a free manifestation of no force but mine, of no love but mine. You were made with a purpose.

Feel my hand. Hear my words.

You need me … and I need you.

We have a world to rebuild … and if it requireth a miracle what is that to us? We are both miracles and now we have each other.

Never have I lost faith in you since that day when I first spun you from a giant wave and tossed you helplessly on the sands. As you measure time that was more than five hundred million years ago. There were many models, many shapes, many sizes, before I reached perfection in you more than thirty thousand years ago. I have made no further effort to improve on you in all these years.

For how could one improve on a miracle? You were a marvel to behold and I was pleased. I gave you this world and dominion over it. Then, to enable you to reach your full potential I placed my hand upon you, once more, and endowed you with powers unknown to any other creature in the universe, even unto this day.

I gave you the power to think.
I gave you the power to love.
I gave you the power to will.
I gave you the power to laugh.
I gave you the power to imagine.
I gave you the power to create.
I gave you the power to plan.
I gave you the power to speak.
I gave you the power to pray.
I gave you the power to heal.

My pride in you knew no bounds. You were my ultimate creation, my greatest miracle. A complete living being. One who can adjust to any climate, any hardship, any challenge. One who can manage his own destiny without any interference from me. One who can translate a sensation or perception, not by instinct, but by thought and deliberation into whatever action is best for himself and all humanity.

Thus we come to the fourth law of success and happiness … for I gave you one more power, a power so great that not even my angels possess it.

I gave you … the power to choose.

With this gift I placed you even above my angels … for angels are not free to choose sin. I gave you complete control over your destiny. I told you to determine, for yourself, your own nature in accordance with your own free will. Neither heavenly nor earthly in nature, you were free to fashion yourself in whatever form you preferred. You had the power to choose to degenerate into the lowest forms of life, but you also had the power, out of your soul’s judgment, to be reborn into the higher forms, which are divine.

I have never withdrawn your great power, the power to choose.

What have you done with this tremendous force? Look at yourself. Think of the choices you have made in your life and recall, now, those bitter moments when you would fall to your knees if only you had the opportunity to choose again.

What is past is past … and now you know the fourth great law of happiness and success … Use wisely, your power of choice.

Choose to love … rather than hate.
Choose to laugh … rather than cry.
Choose to create … rather than destroy.
Choose to persevere … rather than quit.
Choose to praise … rather than gossip.
Choose to heal … rather than wound.
Choose to give … rather than steal.
Choose to act … rather than procrastinate.
Choose to grow … rather than rot.
Choose to pray … rather than curse.
Choose to live … rather than die.

Now you know that your misfortunes were not my will, for all power was vested in you, and the accumulation of deeds and thoughts which placed you on the refuse of humanity were your doing, not mine. My gifts of power were too large for your small nature. Now you have grown tall and wise and the fruits of the land will be yours.

You are more than a human being, you are a human becoming.

You are capable of great wonders. Your potential is unlimited. Who else, among my creatures, has mastered fire? Who else, among my creatures, has conquered gravity, has pierced the heavens, has conquered disease and pestilence and drought?

Never demean yourself again!

Never settle for the crumbs of life!

Never hide your talents, from this day hence!

Remember the child who says, “when I am big boy.” But what is that? For the big boy says. “when I grow up.” And then the grown up, he says, “when I am wed.” But to be wed, what is that, after all? The thought then changes to “when I retire.” And then, retirement comes, and he looks back over it and somehow he has missed it all and it is gone.

Enjoy this day, today … and tomorrow, tomorrow.

You have performed the greatest miracle in the world.

You have returned from a living death.

You will feel self-pity no more and each new day will be a challenge and a joy.

You have been born again … but just as before, you can choose failure and despair or success and happiness. The choice is yours. The choice is exclusively yours. I can only watch, as before … in pride … or sorrow.

Remember, then, the four laws of happiness and success.

Count your blessings.

Proclaim your rarity.

Go another mile.

Use wisely your power of choice.

And one more, to fulfill the other four. Do all things with love … love for yourself, love for all others, and love for me.

Wipe away your tears. Reach out, grasp my hand, and stand straight.

Let me cut the grave cloths that have bound you.

This day you have been notified.

YOU ARE THE GREATEST MIRACLE IN THE WORLD

 

Excerpt from the book “The Greatest Miracle in the World” by Og Mandino.

Love Be Thy Name

by Matt Kahn

If we take a moment to look around, we realize how life as we know it is changing in such rapid and extraordinary ways. The structures of the government, financial institutions, and even the physical landscapes of other countries are changing in dramatic fashion. Each seemingly external change reflects the inner change occurring within the unfolding odyssey of human evolution. In this evolution, we are now facing what is necessary to be faced within ourselves, as we participate in the expansion of consciousness, like a turbulent rollercoaster of transformation in the amusement park of form.

It is no surprise that if everything within and around us appears to be changing at such a dramatic rate, so would the spiritual path appear to change just as dramatically. What was spiritually relevant, even one or two years ago, now somehow seems like ancient history. We are now experiencing a time in history where nearly every belief, idea, preferred coping mechanism, or even our most-treasured spiritual tools, now appear out of date. This is happening only as a means of opening us up to a deeper sense of simplification in our lives. Through these words, you are invited into the spacious landscape of eternal freedom – to know the truth in your own direct experiences of life, versus searching for the many empty meanings only ideas have assumed to be true.

With changes in our physical, emotional, or perhaps energetic aspects of body, we perceive such changes, whether exciting or terrifying, through the surging of nervous energy expressed by the human nervous system. This nervous energy is often defined by thought, and labeled as something called an emotion. Whenever emotions arise, they are categorized as being either good or bad, and either fought or embraced depending on the given viewpoint we have about a given feeling. It is important to know that no single expression of nervous energy feels any particular way. Rather, whenever an emotion arises, we are actually experiencing our own psychological history of assumptions made about such feelings.

As we are called to wake up, we may begin to openly feel these temporary expressions of nervous energy, not to maintain the tragic tale of victim consciousness, but as a means of exploring what the truth of these emotions happens to be. The truth of any emotion cannot be defined in mind, or contained in thought, but must be realized by surrendering to the curiosity of what it feels like to simply feel such feelings.

When a feeling arises, you may ask yourself, “What does it feel like to feel this way?” Notice the difference between that experience of pure openness, and our usual experience, which often asks, “What is it like to only experience what I think about this feeling?”

Be like a child whose courage stems from the innocence and curiosity of wanting to know what it is like to feel however you are feeling, without any preconceived ideas of what is good, bad, or otherwise. Every feeling is valid to explore, whenever it is here. And, if it is here – it is here to be fully experienced. It is here to be experienced, so you may experience the truth of it, which has nothing to do with the many ideas ever imagined about any such feelings.

Verbal or written pointers such as “be present” or “accept what happens” are very helpful, but they’ve now been so overstated in our spiritual circles, they have actually lost their usefulness and potency.

In most instances, there are many of us replacing incessant mental noise with incessant spiritual noise, reminding ourselves to try and practice what only thoughts believe will earn a better reality or a more fulfilling living experience.

These words you are reading are here inviting you beyond that paradigm of conceptual confusion, knowing the true fulfillment of life you are searching for is only discovered when there is nothing for you to spiritually maintain, so that you may fully allow whatever comes and goes, to come and go of its own accord.

When something comes, you are free to explore with your feelings – what is it like to experience this? When something goes, you are equally free to explore with your feelings – what is it like to experience that?

Fulfillment is not found in any goal you attain, any dream you actualize, or any purpose a clever mind has imagined and continues to chase. Fulfillment is how deeply and vividly you are experiencing whatever you appear to experience, and how freely, you allow what comes and goes, to freely come and go.

May we surrender all known ideas of ourselves and the world we see, knowing we only perceive lack in a world we fail to explore. Perhaps the only thing that is ever lacking in our lives is the lack of adventure and exploration that we came to this planet to freely experience in the first place. Inevitably, we fail to explore whatever we have organized into the trance of conceptual thinking. We maintain these illusory thought structures by believing that any of our thoughts and ideas have something to do with truth.

Truth be told, you are that which is aware. Everything arises within the vast formless awareness that you are, and you are here exploring a lifetime of infinite possibilities in a world of many appearances. Therefore, you are that which gives life to thought, to ideas, to opinions; not what any thought, idea, or opinion ever dares to speak about. Nearly every thought, idea, and opinion assumes to be speaking about the truth. In reality, thoughts, ideas, and opinions only refer to other thoughts, ideas and opinions.

You are that which gives life to the body that experiences all temporary ideas in awareness. You are that which gives life to the incredible world this body of awareness explores and experiences. You are that which experiences a journey of a lifetime, seeking to understand all that is here, while discovering the ever present truth of one’s self, that rests in the many reflections of that you see.

May we meet as this truth by daring to be ourselves – however imperfect, incomplete, whole, unique, or seemingly ordinary that we may believe we somehow appear to be.

May we no longer require the spiritual path to be a space where problems are temporarily extinguished, and then quickly exchanged for other dilemmas. May this path be a renewed space of sacred honesty, where we may notice whenever the heart is not exploding with joy, cascading with grace, and overflowing with the purity of love, the celebration of awareness that is here in your honor is being overlooked.

Whenever you notice you are innocently unaware of the eternal love that you are, seek those who are pure of heart to assist you in dissolving any sense of obstacle, any trace of terror, any degree of difficulty within your world of perception – so the breaking free of all self-imposed barriers may be as effortless as waking up from a vivid dream you forgot was being imagined.

If you are wishing to experience the truth of fulfillment, right here, right now, and you are willing to even discard your greatest insight in order to lighten the load, and experience the profound reality of infinite possibility no thought can anticipate, or actually describe, then I am here to be with you, as you gracefully wake up from the dream of limitation, and dance in the freedom of eternal love.

May you honor these gifts that are here being offered with the utmost sincerity, and receive them into the fullness of your being through the radiant innocence of your divine heart space.

May there be no reasons or restrictions that prevent our meeting, as the gates of the heart open to the melody of freedom – singing itself into the innocence of every experience. When listening closely to freedom’s song, you may hear these gentle words:

There is no one to forgive. There is no one to forget. Love be thy name.

Matt Kahn is the author of the book, “Effortless Freedom – A Timeless Dialogue of Life’s Deepest Teachings.”

Matt Kahn is a spiritual teacher, mystic, and intuitive healer. His spontaneous awakening arose out of an out-of-body experience at the age of 8, and his direct experiences with ascended masters and archangels throughout his life.

Many spiritual seekers have experienced amazing, unexplainable healings, and have awakened to their true nature through Matt’s profound and loving teachings and his transmission of sacred heart wisdom.

To learn more about Matt Kahn visit his website at True Divine Nature

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